


Avengers Squad

by TheElevatorsNotWorthy



Category: Black Panther (2018), Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Bullying, But there is so much fluff, Every one is in High School apart from Steve Tony Bucky and T'Challa, Fluff, Parent Tony Stark, School Life, Wade is so whipped, it is better than the summary i swear, read it it would make my day, texing, this is also so angsty, this is so fluffy, why was this so much fun to write?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-05-05 17:21:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 12,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14623470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheElevatorsNotWorthy/pseuds/TheElevatorsNotWorthy
Summary: Right, so, most people have phones, right? It would make sense that the Avengers would have them as well right?A.K.A the shenanigans that our favourite Marvel characters get into that the comics and movies don't show.Featuring prank wars, holidays, gossip!Bucky, explosions, sass and an abuse of the caps lock key.Oh, and arguing. Lots of arguing. But, like, friendly arguing. That's a thing, right?(But what happens when someone unknown starts texting wade?)(ps this has been translated into German. See end notes)





	1. The Start of Something... Magical?

**capsicle** (captain america) **to imstarknaked** (tony stark)

**capsicle** : …

**capsicle:** bucky and i…

**capsicle:** got new phones

**imstarknaked:** oh my god

 

**imstarknaked** added **capsicle, wintersmoulder** (james “bucky” barnes) **, spideyboy** (peter parker) **, birdbrain** (sam wilson) **, legolas** (clint barton) **, dopeassfreshprince** (wade wilson) **, urallnatmyproblem** (natasha romanoff) **, smolnerdbrucie** (bruce banner) **, rawrimadinothor** (thor odinson) **, letskeepthisloki** (loki laufeyson) and **iwandawhy** (wanda maximoff) to **OH MY GOD FINALLY!!!**

**imstarknaked:** guys

**imstarknaked:** our lil old men finally got phones

**urallnatmyproblem:** no

**iwandawhy:** nope

**birdbrain:** don’t believe you

**legolas:** prove it

**capsicle:** hi

**wintersmoulder:** yo

**legolas** : …

**legolas** : bucky would never say yo

**iwandawhy:** IMPOSTER

**wintersmoulder:** what do ya mean? it’s me. the one. the only. The sexy muthafucka

**smolnerdbrucie:** wade

**wintersmoulder:** who is this wade you speak of? i am james.

**spideyboy:** wade stole bucky’s phone

**dopeassfreshprince:** PETEY!

**dopeassfreshprince:** THE BETRAYAL

**dopeassfreshprince:** IT HURTS

**imstarknaked:** wtf bucky, it’s been less than a day

**capsicle:** language

**legolas:** gosh darn it tony!

**imstarknaked:** seriousely? You say language after I say wtf, and not when wade says sexy muthafucka?

**urallnatmyproblem** : oh my god

**urallnatmyproblem:** children

**urallnatmyproblem:** all of you

**imstarknaked:** hey!

**imstarknaked:** I’m like, 10 years older than you!

**legolas:** 6, tony.

**legolas:** 6 years.

**iwandawhy:** you’re an old man tones

**imstarknaked:** am not

**imstarknaked:** I’m only 25!

**dopeassfreshprince:** you just admitted it tony-boy!

**dopeassfreshprince:** you, cap and buck are old mejafhibfjaakf

**birdbrain:** ?

**spideyboy:** bucky attacked wade

**spideyboy:** to get his phone back

**spideyboy:** and to punish him for the last comment

**spideyboy:** wade deserved it

**capsicle:** how? he was with me two minutes ago

**imstarknaked:** im coming over

**spideyboy:** NO!

**spideyboy:** i mean, I’ve got it handled!

**urallnatmyproblem:** im coming too

**smolnerdbrucie:** im five minutes away

**urallnatmyproblem:** same

**smolnerdbrucie:** ?

**smolnerdbrucie:** we’re in the same car

**capsicle:** wait

**capsicle:** WHICH ONE OF YOU IS DRIVING

**smolnerdbrucie:** nat

**urallnatmyproblem:** me

**capsicle:** no teXTING WHILE DRIVING

**urallnatmybroblem:** you cant tell me what to do

**capsicle:** Natasha.

**legolas:** creeeeeepy

**capsicle:** what?

**birdbrain:** you still manage to do that dad voice over text

**legolas:** hoooooow

**urallnatmyproblem:** its probably the correct grammar, like, the full stop and capital letter

and all that

**legolas:** creeeeeeepy

**capsicle:** Nat.

**urallnatmyproblem:** fine

**smolnerdbrucie:** “happy?”- nat

**capsicle:** yes

**imstarknaked:** ha, I beat you, I’m already at the kid’s house

**legolas:** bucky, wade and petey have been awfully quiet lately…

**imstarknaked:** SHIT, PETE, WAS THAT A WINDOW BREAKING?

**dopeassfreshprince:** bucky did it

**wintersmoulder:** it was wade

**Spideyboy:** it was wade

**dopeassfreshprince:** RUDE

**smolnerdbrucie:** **“** WADE!”- nat

**spideyboy:** wade, i am not responsible for whatever tony decides to do you

**dopeassfreshprince:** I feel atTACKED!

**dopeassfreshprince:** I expected this from tasha, but PETEY? Betrayal. It hurts.

**smolnerdbrucie:** “it doens’t hurt as mcuh as waht im abotu to do to yuo”- nta

**wintersmoulder:** bruce, that spelling was atrocious

**smolnerdbrucie:** sorry, but nat’s driving like a crazy laddubjbgks

**capsicle:** is separating wade and bucky worth dying in a car crash?

**imstarknaked:** YES

**imstarknaked:** peter is at stake

**spideyboy:** AWWW I KNEW YOU LOVED MEH

**dopeassfreshprince:** not as much as I love ya!

 

 **birdbrain:** you are in the same room

**birdbrain:** have your gross gay-fest away from the gc

**dopeassfreshprince:** i aM pAn!

**iwandawhy:** I think its cute

**Legolas:** YOU THINK BUCKY AND WADE SQUABBLING OVER WHAT TO EAT ON MOVIE NIGHT

IS CUTE

**iwandawhy:** well, yeah, you have a grown man fighting with a hormonal teenager over

whether chimichangas or shawarma is better

**birdbrain:** hey, guys…

**birdbrain:** where’s tweedle dum and dweedle dee?

**legolas:** you mean the troublesome two?

**iwandawhy:** you mean thor and loki?

**rawrimadinothor:** I HATH BEEN SUMMONED

**letskeepthisloki:** …

**letskeepthisloki:** what is this…

**letskeepthisloki:** I diBS BEING TWEEDLE DEE

**iwandawhy:** why is thor speaking in olden dayish again?

**letskeepthisloki:** he was reading shakespearean and those original norse myths again

**rawrimadinothor:** …

**rawrimadinothor:** HALT

**rawimadinothor:** WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH THE LITTLE SPIDER

**dopeassfreshprince:** does nooNE CARE ABOUT ME?????

**wintersmoulder:** …

**legolas:** …

**birdbrain:** …

**urallnatmyproblem:** …

**imstarknaked:** …

**letskeepthisloki:** …

**letskeepthisloki:** wait

**letskeepthisloki:** how many of you are in the same room

**imstarknaked:** me

**urallnatmypromblem:** me

**smolnerdbrucie:** me

**wintersmoulder:** me

**spideyboy** : me

**dopeassfreshprince:** me

**capsicle:** would you gET OFF THE GROUP CHAT AND TALK TO EACH OTHER LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE?  


**imstarknaked:** fine


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few shenanigans, plus FLIPPING CALCULUS!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLLOOO EVERYYYOONNEE!! I hath come bearing a new chapter. Sorry, it's a bit short, but, ya know, calculus is a bitch. Anywho! hope you enjoy!

**spideyboy** added **dopeassfreshprince, iwandawhy, rawrimadonothor, letskeepthisloki, urallnatmyproblem, birbrain, legolas** and **smolnerdbrucie** to **High School Squad**

 

**spideyboy:** ARRRGGGGUUUUUUUUFFFFFFFFFFFNNNNAAAAAAAAAA

**birdbrain:** ?

**legolas:** i agree: AAAAAARRRRRGGGGUUUUUUUUFFFFFNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAA

**birdbrain:** what?

**iwandawhy:** AAAAAARRRRRGUUUFFFFFNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAA

**dopeassfreshprince:** AAARRRRGGUUUUUUUFFFFFNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAA

**birdbrain:** am i the only one in the dark here?

 

 **rawrimadinothor:** no, I am with you. I do not know why the small beings are making weird noises out of their mouths

**letskeepthisloki:** i think I have an idea

**smolnerdbrucie:** i know

**urallnatmyproblem:** i don’t

**dopeassfreshprince:** fucKING CALCULUS

**spideyboy:** I DONT THINK MR SCHMIDT IS HUMAN

**legolas:** the homework

**iwandawhy:** there is so much

**smolnerdbrucie:** ive already done it

**spideyboy:** ANSWERS!

**dopeassfreshprince:** ANSWERS!

**dopeassfreshprince:** *gasp*

**dopeassfreshprince:** did we just become best friends?

**spideyboy:** …

**spideyboy:** wade

**spideyboy:** youre my boyfriend

**rawrimadinothor:** indeed

**rawrimadinothor:** I believe that around the school you are known as spideypool

**letskeepthisloki:** YES

**letskeepthisloki:** MY SHIP NAME HAS CAUGHT ON

**spideyboy:** …

**urallnatmyproblem:** how many of you take calculus with schmidt?

**smolnerdbrucie:** me, wade, pete, wanda and clint

**iwandawhy:** ANYWAY

**iwandawhy:** BACK ON THE SUBJECT OF MR SCHMIDT

**legolas:** why the hell is he always so sunburnt?

**birdbrain:** that’s what you want to talk about?

**spideyboy:** IKR!

**dopeassfreshprince:** and it only looks worse with his bald head…

**iwandawhy:** its like his whole skull is red

**legolas:** I know! lets call him red skull!

**rawrimadinothor:** …

**rawrimadinothor:** …

**rawrimadinothor:** I LIKE IT

**letskeepthisloki:** I wonder why you have so much homework?

**iwandawhy:** …

**spideyboy:** …

**legolas:** …

**smolnerdbrucie:** …

**dopeassfreshprince:** LOKI WHAT THE FRICKLE FRACKLE TICKLE TACKLE???!!!!

**spideyboy:** WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO LOKI

**letskeepthisloki:** hee hee

**spideyboy:** that’s it

**dopeassfreshprince:** ooh! Lets take you motorbike! Its faster than my car

**rawimadinothor:** good luck, brother

**letskeepthisloki:** shit

 

**OH MY GOD FINALLY!!!**

 

 

 **imstarknaked:** WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHY I HAVE HOSPITAL BILLS PUT ON MY ACCOUNT FOR A FRACTURED THUMB!!!!!!????????

**dopeassfreshprince:** …

**imstarknaked:** WADE!

**dopeassfreshprince:** it was loki!

 

 **imstarknaked:** youre banned Wilson

 

 **imstarknaked:** youre banned from the tower!

 

 **imstarknaked:** no seeing peter for two weeks!

 

 

 

 **imstarknaked** added **capsicle** and **wintersmoulder** to **the little people protection program (LPPP)**

**wintersmoulder:** Tony?

 

 **wintersmoulder:** being a responsible adult?

 

 **wintersmoulder:** now I’ve seen it all

 

 **imstarknaked:** shut up barnes

 

 **imstarknaked:** this is serious

 

 **capsicle:** don’t you think youre talking this a bit seriously tones?

 

 **imstarknaked:** wade is dangerous!

 

 **wintersmoulder:** so am i

 

 **capsicle:** and bruce

 

 **wintersmoulder:** and nat

 

 **capsicle:** and loki

 

 **wintersmoulder:** and clint when he wants to

 

 **imstarknaked:** but loki and petey are best friends

 

 **imstarknakes:** and tasha and bruce and clint are smol cinnamon rolls

 

 **wintersmulder:** and wade is petey’s boyfriend

 

 **imstarknaked:** f*ck you tin arm

 

 **wintersmoulder:** …

 

 **wintersmoulder:** you wanna?

 

 **capsicle:** …

 

 **capsicle:** oh my god

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so Tony is Peter's cousin, and he adopted Peter when his parents and aunt and uncle died... and steve and bucky are dating, and tony likes both of them but doesn't think they like him


	3. The newbie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Problems with the principal, and a new student arrives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY! I updated! Hope you enjoy!

**spideyboy** changed **OH MY GOD FINALLY!!!** to **I HATE LIFE**

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** AKDJFHOWEJFKKjkjdhfkjoiaflqiwfhLIAHLFEIHQOBKA

 

 **spideyboy:** KSJFHOouhefowOHSIGOSIoishdofioOIHO

 

 **wintersmoulder:** tony

 

 **wintersmoulder:** control your children

 

 **imstarknaked:** wade is not my kid

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** yet

 

 **wintersmoulder:** …

 

 **spideyboy** : WHAT THE FUCK!?

 

 **imstarknaked:** HELL no

**spideyboy:** did you just half propose?

 

 **spideyboy:** Wade?

 

 **spideyboy:** hello?

 

 **spideyboy:** fuck you

 

 **wintersmoulder:** anyway, why do you hate life?

 

 **spideyboy:** OH YEAH

 

 **spideyboy:** AAJSFBAIJSBSjsdbksdjbfskkjxbkjsbvdosKJSDSBVSIDBVKSJDVBSK

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** 98745361787382787298347

 

 **spideyboy:** NOW YOU’RE BACK

 

 **legolas:** ya know, ive never seen someone spam numbers before

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** WELL NOW YOU HAVE

 

 **urallnatmyproblem:** who do I have to kill

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** THE FUCKING PRINCIPAL!!!

 

 **capsicle:** principal fury?

 

 **birdbrain:** oh my god how old are you?

 

 **birdbrain:** fury was demoted ages ago

 

 **smolnerdbrucie:** to deputy

 

 **letskeepthisloki:** because the new principle, who was then the board of directors said he had ‘bigger plans.’

 

 **rawrimadinothor:** the new principal is a man going by the name ‘Thanos’

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** AND HE IS THE BIGGEST FUCKING HOMOPHOBIC TO EVER LIIIIVVVVEEE

 

 **imstarknaked:** WTF!!!?

 

 **capsicle:** WHAT?

 

 **wintersmoulder:** yeah, hes gonna die

 

 **letskeepthisloki:** what happened

 

 **rawrimadonothor:** brother, are you caring about something other that thyself?

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : shut up blondie

 

 **rawrimadinothor:** you say that like its something unusual

 

 **letskeepthisloki:** well, have you ever considered that both hela and I have black hair, and wear black and green?

 

 **rawrimadinothor:** …

 

 **legolas:** …

 

 **birdbrain:** …

 

 **urallnatmyproblem:** …

 

 **smolnerdbrucie:** …

 

 **iwandawhy:** are you sure you are not adopted, Thor?

 

 **rawrimadinothor:** …

 

 **rawrimadinothor:** anyway

 

 **rawrimadinothor:** what happened?

 

 **letskeepthisloki:** ha

 

 **spideyboy:** well

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** petey and i were in the library

 

 **spideyboy:** cuddling

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** because its fricking cold

 

 **spideyboy:** and suddenly we hear a cough behind us

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** so we turn around

 

 **spideyboy:** and we see Thanos behind us

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** with his fricking raisin face

 

 **spideyboy:** and he kicks

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** us

 

 **spideyboy:** out

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** of

 

 **spideyboy:** the

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** fucking

 

 **spideyboy:** library!

 

 **legolas:** we should start a fucking group

 

 **spideyboy:** ?

 

 **urallnatmyproblem:** to rid the world of evil

 

 **iwandawhy:** just homophobics or..?

 

 **birdbrain:** all evil

 

 **spideyboy:** YES!

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** we shall call it

 

 **letskeepthisloki:** Loki the magnificent and the others

 

 **urallnatmproblem:** NO!

 

 **rawrimadinothor:** thor of the amazing hair and the others with ok-ish hair

 

 **capsicle:** NO!

 

 **legolas:** the blondies

 

 **imstarknaked:** you and thor are the only people with blond hair…

 

 **spideyboy:** THE AVENGERS!

 

 **letskeepthisloki:** I LIKE IT!

 

 **spideyboy:** *virtual high five*

 

 **letskeepthisloki:** hell yeah

 

 **capsicle:** sounds good

 

 **imstarknaked** changed **I HATE LIFE** to **AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!!!**

**letskeepthisloki:** …

 

 **imstarknaked:** what?

 

 

 

 

**HIGH SCHOOL SQUAD**

 

 **birdbrain** : did you guys see the new kid today?

 

 **spideyboy** : he was in my chemistry class

 

 **spideyboy** : he seems pretty cool

 

 **legolas** : yea he seems legit

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : legit?

 

 **legolas** : don’t judge me i was born this way

 

 **iwandawhy** : no quoting lady gaa gaa a before 10 am

 

 **iwandawhy** : we talked about this

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : i too enjoy the company of this strange character

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : how can you like him if you think hes strange?

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : …

 

 **iwandawhy** : …

 

 **spideyboy** : …

 

 **spideyboy** : wade

 

 **spideyboy** : that’s his name

 

 **legolas** : steven strange

 

 **birdbrain** : hey loki

 

 **birdbrain** : what do you think?

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : hes ok, I guess

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : im better than him tho

 

 **iwandawhy** : at… what?

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : … everything

 

 

 

 **spideyboy** to **letskeepthisloki**

 

 

 **spideyboy** : I saw that look

 

 **spideyboy** : in chem class

 

 **spideyboy** : when strange corrected the teacher

 

 **spideyboy** : for having the wrong equation

 

 **spideyboy** : I saw, loki

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : I have no idea what you are talking about

 

 **spideyboy** : you like him

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : no I don’t

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : he is arrogant

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : I was looking at him because he has weird facial hair

 

 **spideyboy** : my eyebrows are raised so high rn

 

 **spideyboy** : you like him

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : I DO NOT

 

 **spideyboy** : DO TO

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : think what you will, but I do not

 

 **spideyboy** : sure

**spideyboy:** but just know

 

 **spideyboy** : that even wade saw

 

 **spideyboy** : and he is, like, the most unobservant person ever

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : I DO NOT LIKE STEVEN STRANGE

  

 

 

 

 


	4. The sorting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they are sorted. and a new person is introduced

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, I am really sorry it had been so long. Like, a really long time. a REALLY LONG TIME AND I AM SORRY
> 
> Anyway, am I writing this instead of writing three pages on narrative voice?   
> Yes.  
> Yes I am.
> 
> But I already understand it! if only teachers could see these stories, to know that I CAN WRITE IN THE PERSPECTIVE OF CHARACTERS! THAT IS LITERALLY ALL I AM DOING IN THIS FIC!   
> oh well.   
> enjoy!

**AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!!!**

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** Petey would so be in revenclaw

 

 **spideyboy:**  (⌐■_■)

 

 **imstarknaked:** ?

 

 **imstarknaked:** aren’t you supposed to be in class?

 

 **legolas:** yes! and nat would be in slytherin

 

 **urallnatmyproblem:** (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞ 

 

 **rawrimadinothor:** I do not understand. what is a slytherin?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : well, thor, my bud, my pal, why dontcha let me SLYTHERIN to you, and I’ll tell you?

 

 **spideyboy:** wade, babe, never do that again

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** …

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** im so sorry

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** that was bad even for me

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** yellow’s never gonna let me down for that

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** oh my god it’s already started

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** ANYWAY

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** yellow says hawky would be in hufflepuff

 

 **legolas:** #hufflepuff pride

 

 **imstarknaked:** steve’d be in gryffindor

 

 **capsicle:** Ooh! I understand these references! and yes i would

 

 **smolnerdbrucie:** tony would be in gryffindor

 

 **spideyboy:** definitely

 

 **urallnatmyproblem:** of course

 

 **wintersmoulder:** no argument there

 

 **imstarknaked:** what’s that supposed to mean?

 

 **imstarknaked:** im taking that as a complement

 

 **imstarknaked:** and bruce would be ravenclaw

 

 **capsicle:** and sam would be hufflepuff

 

 **birdbrain:** too true

 

 **spideyboy:** bucky would be in hufflepuff too

 

 **wintersmoulder:** *shrug*

 

 **wintersmoulder:** I can see that

 

 **legolas:** wade’d be in hufflepuff

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** hufflepuff bros!

 

 **legolas:** *virtual high five*

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** HELL YEAH!

 

 **spideyboy:** loki is definitely a slytherin

 

 **spideyboy:** and thor Gryffindor

 

 **spideyboy:** as well as wanda

 

 **letskeepthisloki:** I hath been summoned

 

 **letskeepthisloki:** ah yes

 

 **letskeepthisloki:** I agree

 

 **spideyboy:** hee hee hee

 

 **legolas:** ?

 

 **spideyboy** added **imnotstrangeurstrange** to AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!!!

 

 **letskeepthisloki:** WHY?!!!?!?!?!??

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange:** ?

 

 **spideyboy:** guys this is Steven Strange.

 

 **imnotstrangeuare:** hi

 

 **legolas:** yo

 

 **capsicle:** it’s nice to meet you

 

 **wintersmoulder:** hello

 

 **imstarknaked:** hi

 

 **rawrimadinothor:** GREETINGS!

 

 **smolnerdbrucie:** hi

 

 **birdbrain:** yo

 

 **urallnatmyproblem:** hi

 

 **iwandawhy:** hello

 

 **letskeepthisloki:** … hi

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** WOTS POPPIN

 

 **spideyboy:** of course, wade, of course.

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange:** … that’s

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange:** a lot of people

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** I know right?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** imagine how hard it is for the author to remember to include us all in the conversations?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** I mean, they almost forgot wanda back there!

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange:** ?

 

 **spideyboy:** he does that a lot

 

 **spideyboy:** we all love him that much more for it

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** but petey loves me most

 

 **spideyboy:** damn straight

 

 **birdbrain:** ha

 

 **wintersmoulder:** gay jokes

 

 **legolas:** damn, strange, looks like you’ve over taken wade in the longest name competition.

 

 **letskeepthisloki:** it was a competition?

 

 **letskeepthisloki:** hang on a sec

 

 **rawrimadinothor, capsicle, wintersmoulder, spideyboy, birdbrain, legolas, dopeassfreshprince, urallnatmyproblem, smolnerdbrucie, rawrimadinothor, letskeepthisloki, iwandawhy** and **imnotstrangeurstrange** left the conversation

 

 

**rawrimadinothor** added **capsicle, wintersmoulder, spideyboy, birdbrain, legolas, dopeassfreshprince, urallnatmyproblem, smolnerdbrucie, rawrimadinothor, letskeepthisloki, iwandawhy** and **imnotstrangeurstrange** to **LOKI WHY?!?!**

**rawrimadinothor:** why loki????

 

 **rawrimadinothor:** WHY!!!

 

 **imstarknaked:** you crashed ALL OF OUR PHONES!

 

 **imstarknaked:** THEY’RE STARK PHONES

 

 **imstarknaked:** THAT’S NOT EVEN POSSIBLE

 

 **letskeepthisloki:** IT WAS A REALLY LONG USERNAME, OK?

 

 **imnotsrtangeurstrange:** you know, my username seems to have come in handy, hasn’t it? u are all really strange

 

 **letskeepthisloki:** Sass? I like you more and more.

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange:** What?

 

 **letskeepthisloki:** wot

 

 **spideyboy:** ;D

 

 **letskeepthisloki:** BE QUIET PARKER

 

 **spideyboy:** im not saying anything? its text

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** that is a lie, he is giggling like a maniac.

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange:** ?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** he just threw his phone across the room.

 

 **legolas:** ANYWAY

 

 **legolas:** BACK TO THE SORTING

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange:** ah yes, I seemed to come in in the middle of a conversation.

 

 **spideyboy:** ok

 

 **spideyboy:** so far we have bucky, wade, sam, and clint are in hufflepuff,

 

 **spideyboy:** loki and nat in slytherin

 

 **spideyboy:** steve, tony, thor and wanda in Gryffindor

 

 **spideyboy:** and bruce and I in ravenclaw

 

 **legolas:** I reckon strange would either be ravenclaw or slytherin

 

 **letskeepthisloki:** I think slytherin

 

 **spideyboy:** ;D

 

 **letskeepthisloki:** WOULD YOU STOP THAT?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	5. The debate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they have a full on court case

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a new chapter! chapters will hopefully be more frequent now, about every 2-3 days. enjoy!

**unknown number** to **dopeassfreshprince**

**unknown number:** we know

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** who is this?

 

 

 

 

 **spideyboy** change **LOKI WHY?!?!** to **AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!!!**

 

 **spideyboy** : Gooiiiiyyss

 

 **spideyboy** : it is so fucking cold in my apartment

 

 **spideyboy** : that my breath is condensing

 

 **imstarknaked** : *gasp!*

**imstarknaked** : language!

 

 **spideyboy** : that’s what you got from that?

 

 **spideyboy** : it is really, really cold!

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : I’LL SAVE YOU BABY-BOY!

 

 **spideyboy** : bring blankets!

 

 **dopeassfreshprice** : yup!

 

 **legolas** : it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : EVERY WHERE YOU GO!

 

 **legolas** : …

 

 **legolas** : wow

 

 **iwandawhy** : hey, talking about singing

 

 **iwandawhy** : what do you think the musical will be this year?

 

 **wintersmoulder** : ooh!

**wintersmoulder** : did we ever tell you guys about the musicals we did at school?

 

 **iwandawhy** : no?

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : haha, I shall get out my blackmail folder

 

 **birdbrain** : you have a blackmail folder?

 

 **birdbrain** : oh dear god

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : we’re all doomed

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : >:D

 

 **wintersmoulder** : well, when cap, tony and I were in high school

               

 **wintersmoulder** : we did heathers, the musical

 

 **imstarknaked** : oh, I remember this

 

 **capsicle** : BUCKY! NO!

 

 **legolas** : continue

 

 **capsicle** : wait, are you all listening?

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : you cant listen to texts…

 

 **capsicle** : oh, don’t be so pedantic

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : what is this?

 

 **dopeassfreshprice** : Spangles?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : being salty?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : now ive seen it all

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : I doubt you’ve seen it all

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** …

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : ive seen Tony show emotions

 

 **urallnatmyproblem:** I take it back. Respect, Wilson

 

 **imstarknaked:** Objection!

 

 **legolas:** overruled.

 

 **imstarknaked:** what do you have to do with any of this?

 

 **legolas:** I’m the judge!

 

 **birdbrain:** oh my god, where’s Daredevil when you need him.

 

 **legolas:** ok, prosecuter, we have Mr Loki

**letskeepthisloki:** ha ha!

 

 **legolas:** defendant, Mr Thor

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : I’m a god!

 

 **legolas** : Mr Thor, silence!

 

 **legolas** : on trial, we have Mr Tony Man

 

 **imstarknaked** : why am I on trial?

 

 **iwandawhy** : SHHHHHH!!!! I wanna see how this turns out!

 

 **legolas** : Mr Loki, call Wade Wilson’s first witness

 

 **birdbrain** : THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS!

 

 **iwandawhy:** SHH!!

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : Peter Parker, what were you doing on the mentioned day?

 

 **imstarknaked** : what mentioned day?

 

 **legolas** : order!

 

 **spideyboy** : I was walking to Mr Stark’s office, when I heard talking.

 

 **spideyboy** : I used my enhanced hearing to hear that it was Wade and Mr Stark

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : and what were they saying?

 

 **spideyboy** : wade was talking to Mr Stark about how to deal with his nightmares

 

 **iwandawhy** : AWWWW!!!  


**birdbrain** : WANDA YOU HYPOCRITE!!!  


**urallnatmyproblem** : BLACKMAIL!!!  


**legolas** : ORDER! ORDER!  


**legolas** : Mr Loki, any further questions?

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : No.

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : Objection!

 

 **legolas** : sustained.

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : Mr Parker, am I correct in saying that you have enhanced hearing?

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : Objection! Leading the witness!

 

 **legolas** : Denied. Continue mr parker

 

 **spideyboy** : yes I do have enhanced hearing

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : well, I have heard that you can hear things from new York to brooklyn

 

 **spideyboy** : correct

 

 **rawromadinothor** : so am I correct in saying that you would have hear the voices earlier, before you got to the corridor?

 

 **spideyboy** : no

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : why not

 

 **spideyboy** : I was wearing headphones

 

 **spideyboy** : with really loud music

 

 **spideyboy** : because sometimes the noise just gets too much, you know?

 

 **legolas** : CASE CLOSED!  


**legolas** : ANTHONY STARK HAS EMOTIONS!

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : oh so this is why my phone is basically exploding with pings at 11:45 pm.

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : thanks a lot guys

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : youre very welcome

 

 

 

 **spideyboy** to **letskeepthisloki**

 

 

 **spideyboy** : are you trying to make him hate you?

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : I don’t know what youre talking about

 

 **spideyboy** : ive seen you in class

 

 **spideyboy** : you only speak to his in sass and hisses

 

 **spideyboy** : if you think to him at all

**letskeepthisloki** : oh shut up little spider

 

 

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** to **spideyboy**

 

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : hey petey?

 

 **spideyboy** : yea?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : do you want to talk about your noise problems?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : I have some experience with blocking unwanted noise, you know?

 

 **spideyboy** : because of Yellow and White?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : yeah

 

 **spideyboy** : sure, it its not too much bother

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : why in the multiverse would that be a bother?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** I love you so much petey!

 

 **spideyboy** : thanks, wade.

 

 

**AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!!!**

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND PETER PARKER!!!!


	6. The Heathers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We look at their past musical...

**AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!!!**

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : so, how did this all start?

 

 **capsicle** : how did what start?

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : the trial?

 

 **imstarknaked** : Oh yes!

 

 **imstarknaked** : heathers!

**imnotstrangeurstrange** : what?

 

 **imstarknaked** : bucky, if you could take the reins

**wintersmoulder** : heeheehee

 

 **capsicle** : nooooooooo bucky pleeeeasse

 

 **wintersmoulder** : hee hee hee

 

 **wintersmoulder** : so when we were in highschool I was in the musical crew and tony and cap were in the cast

 

 **wintersmouler** : so this one year we did heathers.

 

 **wintersmoulder** : and cap and tony were kurt Kelly and ram sweeny

**urallnatmyproblem** : fitting

 

 **imstarknaked** : hey!

 

 **wintersmoulder** : and all went fine

 

 **wintersmoulder** : until the girl playing heather chandler broke her leg and couldn’t perform

 

 **wintersmoulder** : so who did they replace her with?

 

 **imstarknaked** : the one

 

 **wintersmoulder** : the only

 

 **imstarknaked** : STEVE ROGERS!!!

 

 **wintersmoulder** : so cap got up there in a wig and a dress

 

 **wintersmoulder** : and say his parts

 

 **wintersmoulder** sent **(1) video**

**capsicle:** BUCKY NOOOOO!!!

 

 **iwandawhy** : HAHAHA!!

 

 **birdbrain** : THE LIPSTICK!!

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : THE WIG!!!  


**legolas** : THE MASCARA!!!  


**imnotstrangeurstrange** : THE HEALS!!!

 

 **spideyboy** : THE DRESS!!!

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : THE EYESHADOW!!!

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : THE BOOBIES!!!  


**urallnatmyproblem** : THE BLACKMAIL!!!!

 

 **capsicle** : BUCKKKKKYYYYYYYYYYY!!!  


**legolas** : Hey, petey

 

 **legolas** : you thinking what im thinking?

 

 **spideyboy** : hell yeah

 

 **birdbrain** : ???

  
**legolas** : I LIKE  


**spideyboy** : LOOKING HOT BUYING STUFF THEY CANNOT

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : I mean you do generally look hot

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : blaaackmaaaaaaaaaaaaail

 

 **imstarknaked** : you know its times like these when I wonder how much sleep these kids get

 

 **birdbrain** : not enough

 

 **legolas** : I LIKE  


**spideyboy** : DRINKING HARD, MAXING DAD’S CREDIT CARD  


**imstarknaked** : you know, im not sure if I should be extremely worried right now

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : relax tones it’s just  a song

 

 **imstarknaked** : is it though?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : >:)

 

 **imstarknaked** : …

 

 **legolas** : I LIKE  


**spideyboy** : SKIPPING GYM, SCARING HER, SCREWING HIM

 

 **urallnatmyprobem** : who the fuck is her

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : I hope im him ;)

 

 **capsicle** : dear god

 

 **legolas** : I LIKE

 

 **spideyboy** : KILLER CLOTHES KICKING NERDS IN THE NOSE!

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : parker

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : I hate to break it to you

**letskeepthisloki** : but you are a huge nerd

 

 **birdbrain** : it would be like kicking yourself in the nose

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : OOH!

 

 **spideyboy** : WADE! NO!

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : HE DID THAT THE OTHER DAY!

 

 **spideyboy** : WADE! STOP!

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : HE WAS DOING A FLIP

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : AND HE KNEED HIMSELF IN THE FACE!

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : that is a mood

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : amen

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : you don’t believe in god

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : well nor do you

                

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : what do I have to do with any of this?

               

  **letskeepthisloki** : you are alive

 

 **spideyboy** : oh my god

 

 

**the little people protection program (LPPP)**

**imstarknaked** : ok guys

 

 **imstarknaked** : im worried now

 

 **imstarknaked** : how much sleep do these kids get?

 

 **capsicle** : from what ive seen today…

 

 **capsicle** : not enough

 

 **imstarknaked** : ok

 

 **imstarknaked** : this has to stop

 

 **wintersmoudler** : pfft good luck with that

 

 **imstarknaked** : whats that supposed to mean?

 

 **wintersmoulfer** : hundred bucks says you cant make any one of them go to sleep before 11 for one week

 

 **imstarknaked** : bucky

 

 **imstarknaked** : hun

 

 **imstarknaked** : im a billionaire

 

 **capsicle** : do you even have a hundred bucks, bucky?

 

 **wintersmoulder** : no but that doesn’t matter, because he wont be able to do it

 

 **imstarknamed** : is that a challenge?

 

 **wintersmoulder** : yes

 

 **imstarknaked** : youre on james barnes

 

 **capsicle** : yeah…

 

 **capsicle** : im going to stay out of this one

 

 **wintersmoulder** : youre just salty that I showed them the video

 

 **capsicle** : no comment

 

 

 


	7. The shenanigans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a few petty arguments, you know, the usual

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, so it's been three days since the last chapter, but to make up for that, this is the longest chapter yet (I think?)! ENJOY!!!!

**AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!!!**

 

**imstarknaked** : hey guys

 

 **imstarknaked** : what are your sleep schedules looking like at the moment

 

 **spideyboy** : HA  


**iwandawhy** : SLEEP?

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : WHAT IS SLEEP?  


**urallnatmyproblem** : NEVER HEARD OF IT  


**imstarknaked** : guys…

 

 **imstarknaked** : it’s the third week of third term

 

 **imstarknaked** : what could you possibly have to do?

 

 **spideyboy** : oh, you know

 

 **spideyboy** : saving people

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : aka going out in sexy spandex in the middle of the night to kick bad-guy butt

 

 **imstarknaked** : is that really necessary?

 

 **imstarknaked** : isn’t sleep more important?

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : is that even a question?

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : what good do you do?

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : well

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : I wasn’t really talking about myself

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : everyone knows that I stuff everything up

 

 **spideyboy** : NO!

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : STOP RIGHT THERE!

 

 **spideyboy** : I don’t know what messed up idea you have in your head, loki, but you are one of the most smart, loyal people I know

 

 **spideyboy** : and are just as good as everyone on this chat

 

 **spideyboy** : and I don’t care what you may think

 

 **spideyboy** : but what I think

 

 **spideyboy** : and what I KNOW

 

 **spideyboy** : is that I wouldn’t rather anyone else watching my back.

 

 **legolas** : hear hear

 

 **iwandawhy** : we love you loki!

 

 **letskeepthisloki** left the conversation

 

 **spideyboy** : did I do something wrong?

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : no

**rawrimadinothor** : he…

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : he’s crying

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : I think its time we all had a talk

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : because lately we haven’t talked much

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : I mean sure we’ve TALKED

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : I honestly doubt wade can go a day without talking

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : but we haven’t talked about anything important.

 

 **smolnerbrucie** : and it is now time to

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : on the chat

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : where no one can run away.

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : hello?

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : has everyone left?

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : of course they have.

 

 

 

 

**AVENGERS ASSEMBLE:**

 

**spideyboy** : oh my god

 

 **spideyboy** : what even is maths?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : ‘If the aeroplane is travelling at 273km/h and the length of the ladder against the wall is the square root of a carrot, then what is the mass of the sun divided by the fridge’s colour’ my ass.

 

 **imstarknaked** : im almost afraid to ask

 

 **imstarknaked** : what time did you kids go to bed?

 

 **legolas** : 1:30

 

 **imstarknaked** : all of you?

 

 **birdbrain** : study group

 

 **imstarknaked** : dammit

 

 **birdbrain** : ???

 

 **imstarknaked** : nothing

**wintersmoulder** : yesssssssss

 

 **wintersmoulder** : anyway

 

 **wintersmoulder** : have you guys seen the new Instagram account dedicated to Clint?

 

 **legolas** : SEE!

 

 **legolas** : EVERYONE LOVES ME!

 

 **wintersmoulder** : …

 

 **wintersmoulder** : its full of ugly pictures of you

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : oh my god

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : gossip!Bucky is cannon

 

 **legolas** : what do you mean, ugly pictures of me? im beautiful!

 

 **wintersmoulder** sent **(1) link**

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : BAHAHAHA!

 

 **legolas** : I don’t get what you’re laughing about Wilson

 

 **spideyboy** : hey!

**dopeassfreshprince** : it’s alright Baby-Boy

 

 **dopeassfrshprince** : at least I admit to my ugly, unlike you, who look like you were shat on by a hawk with diarrhoea!

 

 **legolas** : well you look like burnt toast was electrocuted, eaten, digested and excreted!

 

 **dopeassfreshprice** : well, at least it don’t constantly look like a bird has decided to make your hair its nest, and has pecked at your forehead because it thought your wrinkles were worms!

 

  **legolas** : well, at least I have hair!

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : well

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : at least I don’t look like an albino snake

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : had sex with a mongoose

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : and their love child fucked your mom

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : while she was high on mushrooms

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : and when you were born

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : she thought you were a squirrel

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : so she tried to crush your head with a pitcher of margaritas

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : but she missed and you fell out the window

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : and you landed in a dumpster filled with old socks and pickles

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : and when they pulled you out you had a permanent smell

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : so they dunked you in Lysol

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : but it didn’t work so your mom kept you in a drawer

                         

 **dopeassfreshprince** : and only let you out to feed you acorns and bits of grass

 

 **spideyboy** : wade…

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : too far?

 

 **spideyboy** : yes

 

 **imnotstrangeurtrange** : WHAT DID MY EYES JUST WITNESS?

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** :  I THINK THEY’RE BLEEDING!

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : you must be used to that by now though

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : seeing as they must bleed whenever you look into the mirror

 

 **imstarknaked** : what is this, roast fest?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : THIS IS THANKSGIVING!

 

 **legolas** : THAT IS MAHOGANY!

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : im sorry, pigeon

 

 **legolas** : me too, wade.

 

 **legolas** : wait

 

 **legolas** : pigeon?

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : HA HA HA! I HAD FORGOTTEN ALL ABOUT THAT!

 

 **imnotstrageurstrange** : ???

 

 **iwandawhy** : HAHA!

 

 **iwandawhy** : when we were in Grade Seven

 

 **iwandawhy** : our science teacher had a pet pigeon that was in a cage at the back of the classroom

 

 **iwandawhy** : so one day

 

 **iwandawhy** : clint thought it would be cool to release it in Fury’s office

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : that went about as well as could be expected

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : some people say that is how Fury lost his eye.

 

 **spideyboy** : then again, some people say spiderman is a 26 year old

 

 **birdbrain** : and some people say that nat is an alien who’s mission is to rid the world of males

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : how do you know I’m NOT an alien who wants to destroy all males?

 

 **iwandawhy** : Pfffft

 

 **iwandawhy** : if you were they would already be dead


	8. The text

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit gets real

 

 

 

**HIGH SCHOOL SQUAD**

 

 **birdbrain** : have you guys finished the history essay yet?

 

 **iwandawhy** : NOPE

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : umm

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : what was the topic again?

 

 **birdbrain** : “to what extent did the development in technology impact the outcome of the Second World War?”

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : eeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : I don’t see what the problem is

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : we basically LIVE with two people from world war two

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : who were injected with a technology

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : that impacted the outcome of the war

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : …

 

 **spideyboy** : we’re gonna ace this essay

 

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** added **spideyboy** , **dopeassfreshprince, iwandawhy, letskeepthisloki,  imnotstrangeurstrange, smolnerdbrucie, rawrimadinothor, legolas, birdbrain, wintersmoulder** and **capsicle** to **you know that we love you guys…**

**legolas** : hey cap

 

 **legolas** : have I ever told you that you have a great ass?

 

 **capsicle** : almost everyday

 

 **capsicle** : without fail

 

 **capsicle** : why?

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : mortal known as bucky

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : I must admit that your hair nearly rivals mine…

 

 **wintersmoulder** : …

 

 **wintersmoulder** : thank you?

 

 **spideyboy** : hey cap

 

 **capsicle** : what do you guys want

 

 **birdbrain** : well…

 

 **birdbirain** : we have this essay to write…

 

 **birdbrain** : about world war two…

 

 **capsicle** : sure

 

 **iwandawhy** : what?

 

 **capsicle** : you want us to help?

 

 **capsicle** : we’d love to

 

 **wintersmoulder** : well, I wouldn’t say loooooove….

 

 **capsicle** : we’d LOVE TO SO MUCH

 

 **spideyboy** : …

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : wow…

 

 **wintersmoulder** : ha

 

 **wintersmoulder** : this chat is literally everyone except tony…

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** changed **you know we love you guys** to **HAHA STUFF YOU TONY!!!**

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : happy?

 

 **wintersmoulder** : very.

 

 

 **unknown** **number** to **dopeassfreshprince**

 

 **unknownnumber** : In seven days, at 4:30, go to the café next to the New York Bank

 

 **unknown number:** come alone

 

dopeassfreshprince: holy shit that sounds so sketchy

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : my mommy told me to never talk to strangers

 

 **unknown number** : Oh, but Wade Wilson, we know that your mother died when you were two.

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** ok

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : a) I have a very good memory thank you very much

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** and b) how the fuck did you know that?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : do you really love me that much that you felt the need to research lil old me?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : cause guess what bud

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : IT’S NOT MUTUAL

 

 **dopessfreshprince** : besides

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : im already in a committed relationship

 

 **unknown number:** oh, we know

 

 **unknown number:** Peter Parker, isn’t it?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : you stay away from him

 

 **unknown number:** 4:30

 

 **unknown number:** be there

 

 **unknown number:** or the itsy bitsy spider’s gonna fall down the drain

 

 **unknown number:** but he’ll be too dead to climb back up.

 

 

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** to **imstarknaked**

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : tony

 

 **imstarknaked** :  you better not be sending me another pic of your decapitated arm

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : shut up

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** sent **(3) screen shots**

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : if I come around with my phone, do you think you could track it?

 

 **imstarknaked** : shit

**imstarknaked** : maybe

 

 **imstarknaked** : don’t tell anyone

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : what?

 

 **imstarknaked** : it will just cause everyone to freak out

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : not even petey?

 

 **imstarknaked** : ESPECIALLY not peter

 

 **imstarknaked** : he’d freak out the most

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : but his identity!

 

 **imstarknaked** : exactly

 

 **imstarknaked** : trust me

 

 **imstarknaked** : hopefully, we’ll have this over with before anything happens

              

 **imstarknaked** : no one will be any the wiser.

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : im coming now

 

 **imstarknaked** : see you soon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hee hee hee


	9. The car

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The car gets stuck

**dopeassfreshprince** to **imstarknaked**

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : nothing?

 

 **imstarknaked** : I already told you. No. Sorry. I’ll keep looking though.

 

 

 

**AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!!!**

**legolas:** so I was in the kitchen with peter

 

 **legolas** : and tony comes in and says “space smells like almonds.”

 

 **legolas** : what the actual fuck?

 

 **legolas** : and Peter lights up like he found the answer to the world’s hardest crossword puzzle.

 

 **legolas** : what? happened?

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : yeah, a particle that is abundant in space was found that emitted an almond smell

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : but it was discovered in January

 

 **smolnerbrucie** : when was this conversation?

 

 **legolas** : I’d hardly call it a conversation

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : answer the question

 

 **legolas** : …

 

 **legolas** : January

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : so why are you telling us this now?

 

 **legolas** : I’m in English

 

 **legolas** : and need to look like I’m typing

 

 **legolas** : need I say more?

 

 **legolas** : ooh! the bell went! see you soon!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 **legolas** : AAAAA!!!!

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : AAAA!!!

 

 **birdbrain** : AAAA!!

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : AAAA!!!

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : AAAAAAAAaaaaAAAAAaAaAaaaaAAAAaaaaAAAA!!!!

 

 **imstarknaked** : do I want to ask?

 

 **legolas** : THE CAR’S LOCKED  


**rawrimadinothor** : IT WON’T OPEN

**letskeepthisloki** : THEN UNLOCK IT!

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : WE TRIED THAT

 

 **spideyboy** : WHY ARE WE SHOUTING?

 

 **spideyboy** : OH

**spideyboy** : QUICK SOMEONE STOP WADE

 

 **capsicle** : what?

 

 **legolas** : PETER

 

 **legolas** : HOW THE HELL DID YOU KNOW THAT

 

 **birdbrain** : PETER IS TELEPATHIC

**iwandawhy** : im confused

 

 **iwandawhy** : can someone explain?

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : WILSON ATTEMPTED TO ATTACK THE HORSE ON WHEELS.

 

 **birdbrain** : but Peter’s text alerted us and we all jumped on Wade who was about to explode the car with a rocket launcher

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : hey, it would have opened the car…

 

 **legolas** : BECAUSE THERE WOULDN’T BE A CAR LEFT

**legolas** : WHO BRINGS A ROCKET LAUNCHER TO SCHOOL?

 

 **legoals** : NO SCRAP THAT

 

 **legolas** : WHO HAS A ROCKET LAUNCHER THAT CLOSE TO THEM AT ALL TIMES?

 

 **iwandawhy** : Geez, clint, stop shouting.

 

 **legolas** : No, WaDe AlMoSt BlEw Up My CaR!!!

**birdbrain** : Peter, how did you know what Wade was about to do?

 

 **spideyboy** : Um

 

 **spideyboy** : well…

 

 **spideyboy** : tony’s leant us a few cars over the years…

 

 **spideyboy** : and they seem to sometimes go…

 

 **spideyboy** : missing

 

 **spideyboy** : so, judging the time interval between when you sent the text and the average time the cars…

 

 **spideyboy** : survived.

 

 **spideyboy** : i knew it would happen soon

 

 **imstarknaked** : WHA  


**imstakned** : BUT

 

 **imstarknaked** : YOU TOLD ME THEY WERE STOLEN  


**spideyboy** : I’M SORRY TONY

 

 **spideyboy** : IT WASN’T THAT MANY CARS

 

 **imstarknaked** : YOU TOLD ME THREE WERE STOLEN

 

 **imstarkned** : YOU LOST ONE IN THE PARKING LOT  


**imstarknaked** : AND YOU DROVE ONE OFF A CLIFF INTO THE OCEAN

 

 **imstarknaked** : WADE BLEW UP FIVE OF MY CARS WITH A ROCKET LAUNCHER?  


**spideyboy** : I’M SORRY

 

 **imstarknaked** : AAA!

 

 **legolas** : yeah yeah

 

 **legolas** : enough of that

 

 **legolas** : can we get back to the fact that my caR WON’T OPEN  


**imstarknaked** : the car I bought for you?

**legolas** : YES  


**legolas** : MY CAR  


**urallnatmyproblem** : done

 

 **birdbrain** : what?

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : I fixed it

 

 **birdbrain** : you’re not even here.

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : look to you left

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : OH MY GOD HOW DID YOU JUST APPEAR TEACH ME YOU GODDESS

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : wade, I like you more and more everyday

**dopeassfreshprince** : (⌐■_■)

 

 **spideyboy** : WADE  


**spideyboy** : I THOUGHT WE WERE SUNGLASSES BUDDIES

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : (⌐■_■)

 

 **spideyboy** : NOOOOOOOOO  


**urallnatmyproblem** : anyway

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : while you idiots were all texting,

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : Loki and I fixed your car

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : we were quite loud

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : im surprised you didn’t notice

 

 **dopeassfreshrpince** : hey

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : to be fair Yellow and White were yapping at me about how hot Petey is

 

 **birdbrain** : is that all you think about?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : most of the time yes

 

 **spideyboy** : *shrug*

 

 **spideyboy** : honestly same

 

 **legolas** : well I am literally deaf so…

 

 **birdbrain** : And Thor and I had music in

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : …

**imnotstrangeurstrange** : I have no excuse

 

 

 

 

 

 

  


  



	10. The fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No, I did not steal a scene from my other fic...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to make stuff easier, i'm going to change it so that Loki and Thor ARE gods (to be honest I can't remember why they weren't in the first place when i originally wrote the fic)

**AVENGERS ASSEMBLE**

 

 

 **imstarknaked** : GUYS

 

 **imstarknaked** : WHY IS THE FIRE ALARM GOING OFF?

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : it was wade

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : WAS NOT

 

 **spideyboy** : WHAT DAD DECIDES TO DO TO YOU, WADE, IS NOT MY FAULT

 

 **dopessfreshprince** : AAAAA

 

 **imstarkaked** : WHAT DID YOU DO?

 

 **capsicle** : do we need to evacuate?

 

 **birdbrain** : ThE oVeN iS oN fIrE!

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : This oven’s on fiiiiiiirrrreee

 

 **legolas** : This oven’s on fiiiiiiirrrrrrrreeeee

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : Im walking on fiiiiirrrrrreee!

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : my god he is actually walking on the fire

 

 **legolas** : #commitment

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : yeah…. Iron-dude im gonna need new boots.

 

 **imstarknaked** : HWY IS THE OVEN ON FIRE?

 **imstarknaked** : THIS IS THE THIRD TIME THIS MONTH!

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : IT WASN’T MY FAULT

 

 **spideyboy** : HE PUT A FLAMMABLE OBJECT IN THE  OVEN

 

 **wintersmoulder** : WHY ARE WE SCREAMING

 

 **imstarknaked** : CAN YOU NOT HEAR THE FIRE ALARMS?

 

 **wintersmoulder** : THEY GO OFF, LIKE, TWICE A DAY

 

 **imstarknaked** : YEAH, BUT ITS USUALLY YOUR FAULT AND YOURE WITH ME!

 

 **wintersmoulder** : THE LAST TIME IT HAPPENED

 

 **wintersmoulder** : YOU BURNT  


**wintersmoulder** : MY BISCUITS

 

 **imstarknaked** : ENOUGH WITH THE BISCUITS

 

 **imstarknaked** : YOU CAN MAKE MORE

 

 **spideyboy** : YOU TWO ARGUE LIKE A MARRIED COUPLE

 

 **imstarknaked** : …

 

 **wintersmoulder** : …

 

 **capsicel** : …

 

 **legolas** : they do!

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : STUCKONY4LIFE

 

  
**wintersmoulder** : Im down

 

 **capsicle** : same

 

 **imstarknaked** : WHAT????

 

 **imstarknaked** : WE ARE TALKING ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW

  
  
**legolas** : what about the fire?

 

 **imstarknaked** : FUCK THE FIRE

 

 **wintersmoulder** : FUCK THE FIRE

 

 **capsicle** : STUFF THE FIRE

 

 **legolas** : …

 

 **legolas** : trust

 

 

 

 

**High School Squad**

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : that worked

 

 **spideyboy** : *virtual high five*

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : whoop

 

 **urallnatmyprobem** : did you guys plan this?

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : yup

 

 **iwandawhy** : good work

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : out of all the things to get Tony Bucky and Steve together, why did you pick setting the oven on fire?

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : how does that even work?

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : *shrug*

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : it sets off an argument.

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : that makes no sense

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : so, do you think they’ll get together?

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : they better, because we just sacrificed the oven

 

 **dopeassfreshrpince** : it was going to happen at some point

 

 **spideyboy** : he does set the oven on fire a lot

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : I do

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : I want to get a job

 

 **birdbrain** : ???

 

 **birdbrain** : where the hell did that come from?

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : I dunno

 

 **spideyboy** : WE CAN GET A JOB AT STARK INDUSTRIES

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : Mwahaha

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : yes

 

 **spideyboy** : oh god

 

 **legolas** : ???

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : IMAGINE THE POSSIBILITIES

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : UNLIMITED ACCESS TO THE TOWER

 

 **spideyboy** : THAT’S NOT HOW A JOB WORKS

 

 **iwandawhy** : WHY ARE YOU ARGUING ABOUT THIS???

**dopeassfreshrpnce** : THE AUTHOR NEEDS TO MAKE IT AT LEAST 500 WORDS

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : WHAT??

 

 **spideyboy** : I DON’T EVEN KNOW ANYMORE

 

 **birdbrain** : AAAAAA

 

 **legolas** : AAAAAA

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : …

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : wow

 

 

**AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!!!**

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : what’s a beach?

**imstarknaked** : what?

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : what’s a beach?

 

 **legolas** : HOW THE HELL DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT A BEACH IS?

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : THERE ARE NO BEACHES IN ASGARD

 

 **imstarknaked** : yo

 

 **imstarknaked** : anyone got any plans for the weekend?

 

 **birdbrain** : us

 

 **birdbrain** : have plans that didn’t involve each other?

 

 **birdbrain** : NOPE

 

 **capsicle** : I mean, I was going to buy a new oven

 

 **capsicle** : but that can happen another time

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : WHOO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	11. the holiday

 

 

 

 

 

 

**AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!!!**

 

 **birdbrain** : ok

 

 **birdbrain** : I’m good to go to the beach and stuff

 

 **birdbrain** : but how did that lead to a holiday in /Australia/?

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : is that part of America?

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : …

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : even I know that it isn’t

**spideyboy** : nah, it’s a different country

 

 **legolas** : across the ocean

 

 **spideyboy** : he knows that

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : THERE IS LAND ACROSS THE WATER?

 

 **spideyboy** : …

 

 **spideyboy** : nevermind.

 

 **iwandawhy** : how do you not know this?

 

 **iwandawhy** : we literally went to sokovia

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : yeah but that’s also in America

 

 **iwandawhy** : …

 

 **rawrimadinother** : no?

 

 **rawrimadinother** : how many land masses does Midgard have?

**birdbrain** : 7 …

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : SEVEN?  


**birdbrain** : how many are there on Asgard

 

 **birdbrain** : hello?

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : there is one

        

 **letskeepthisloki** : my brother is currently … processing

 

 **imstarknaked** : he better not be smashing up the tower again!

 

 **imstarknaked** : I swear, sometimes he’s worse than the green rage monster

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : true

 

 **legolas** : wait

 

 **legolas** : DOES THIS MEAN WE’RE GOING TO AUSTRALIA?

 

 **capsicle** : well, nothing’s official, but maybe?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : WE’RE GOING TO AUSTRALIA

 

 **imstarknaked** : THET’S NOT WHAT HE SAID

**spideyboy** : WHY DO WE ARGUE LIKE THIS EVERYDAY?

 

 **imstarkanekd** : IT KEEPS LIFE INTERESTING

 

 **spideyboy** : I’M SURE THERE ARE MUCH BETTER WAYS TO KEEP IT INTERESTING

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : LIKE GOING TO AUSTRALIA, LIKE WE DEFINITELY ARE

 

 **imstarknaked** : NO

 

 **dopeassfreshprpince** : YES

 

 **legolas** : YES

 

 **spideyboy** : YES  


**rawrimadinother** : YES  


**letskeepthisloki** : yes

 

 **birdbrain** : YES  


**iwandawhy** : YES

 

 **capsicle** : …

 

 **capsicle** : YES

 

 **imstarknaked** : damn

 

 **imstarknaked** : fine we’ll go

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : well then

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : if we are going, then it seems to be a good time to tell you

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : that I am deathly allergic to vegemite

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : it is literally just yeast…

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrnge** : still, I am allergic to it

 

 **spideyboy** : what happens if you eat it?

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : I immediately spit it onto the person who forced me to eat it

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : I feel like that’s directed at me

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : why do I feel like that’s directed at me?

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : should I be worried?

 

 **imnostrangeurstrange** : very

 

 **legolas** : don’t worry my greasy, dark haired dude

 

 **legolas** : there are much better things to do with vegemite than eating it willingly

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : kinky

 

 **legolas** : that’s NOT what I meant

 

 **legolas** : you guys get what I mean

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : yup ;)

 

 **legolas** : I MEANT TO PRANK SOMEONE WITH

 

 **legolas** : YOU KNOW, PRETEND IT’S CHOCOLATE SPREAD OR SOMETHING

 

 **smolerdbrucie** : I THINK MY EYES ARE BLEEDING  


**birdbrain** : NOOO

 

 **birdbrain** : NOT BRUCE

 

 **birdbrain** : HE’S TOO SMALL AND INNOCENT

 

 **capsicle** : CAN WE GO ONE DAY WITHOUT SHOUTING AT EACH OTHER ON THE GROUP CHAT  


**imstarknaked** : ONLY IF YOU GIVE US PERMISSION TO SHOUT AT EACH OTHER IN REAL LIFE  


**capsicle** : FINE  


**imstarknaked** : WADE I’M COMING FOR YOU  


**imstarknaked** : THERE’S A LOT OF SHIT I NEED TO SHOUT AT YOU

 

 **capsicle** : LANGUAGE

 

 **imstarknaked** : WADE, CAN I PLEASE COME AND SHOUT SHIT AT YOU?

 

 **spideyboy** : SHIT ISN’T EVEN A SWEAR WORD

 

 **legolas** : LIKE YOU’D KNOW ANY REAL SWEAR WORDS PETE  


**legolas** : TOO YOUNG  


**legolas** : TOO INNOCENT  


**spideyboy** : IM THE SAME AGE AS YOU  


**spideyboy** : AND I DO KNOW REAL SWEAR WORDS

 

 **legolas** : WHATS THE WORST SWEAR WORD YOU KNOW  


**~~spideyboy~~ ** ~~: !% &@*(#*@)!~~

**capsicle** deleted **spideyboy’s** message

 

 **capsicle** : NO

 

 **legolas** : I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID PETE

  
  
**legolas** : RESPECT

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : DO YOU GUYS ALL HAVE CAPS-LOCK CONSTANTLY ON

 

 **legolas** : YES  


**spideyboy** : STOP JUDGING  


**iwandawhy** : that is a mood


	12. The jet

 

**AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!!!**

 

 

 **imstarknaked** : yo powerpuff girls, im at the jet let’s move it

 

 **birdbrain** : dude the pwower puff girls are awesome

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : pwowerpuff

 

 **urallnotmyproblem** : pwowerpuff

 

 **legolas** : hey, can we watch da pwower pwuff girls?

 

 **birdrain** : shut up.

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : I can’t decide what to pack

 

 **imstarknaked** : you joking?

 

 **imstarknaked** : we leave in 10

 

 **imstarknaked** : plus you literally only wear black grey and green

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : cape or no cape?

 

 **imstarknaked** : just share with Your Royal Highness of Rain Farts

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : no

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : thor honestly likes his cape more than me

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : well you did once try to drown me in the bathtub

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : that’s not that bad

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : he was two at the time

 

 **iwandawhy** : are you sure he did it on purpose?

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : he turned himself into a cow-duck then tried to push me under the water with his horrifying webbed feet

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : cow-duck?

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : hey, in my defense back then my vocabulary comsisted of ‘the duck goes quack’ and ‘the cow goes moo’

 

 **wintersmoulder** : yeah!

 

 **wintersmoulder** : like in those kids books

 

 **wintersmoulder** : I remember those

 

 **wintersmoulder** : what does the doggy say?

**dopeassfreshprince** : bow-wow

 

 **wintersmoulder** : what does the kitty say?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : meow-meow

 

 **wintersmoulder** : what does the moo cow say?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaAAAAAA!!!!

 

 **wintersmoulder** : …

**imstarknaked** : that the fuck

 

 **imstarknaked** : Ok dudes!

 

 **imstarknaked** : the jet is waiting!

 

 **imstarknaked** : so far only wanda, cap, sam and bucky are here

 

 **imstarknaked** : the only ones that I can trust

 

 **spideyboy** : amen

 

 **imstarknaked** : really, pete, I expected better

 

 **spideyboy** : meh

 

 **legolas** : hell yeah

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : cloak or no cloak?

 

**letskeepthisloki: I know right?**

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : it’s such a hard decision!

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : how about we share?

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : I doubt cloakie would let me wear them…

 

 **legolas** : ha

 

 **legolas** : cloakie and loki: the ultimate duo

 

 **imnostrangeurstrange** : fine we’ll wear your cape

 

 **spideyboy** : I can’t believe you guys are bonding over a cape

 

 **imstarknaked** : come on people!

 

 **imstarknaked** : where’s thor?

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : I CANNOT FIND MY HAIRBRUSH

**birdbrain** : geez calm down

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : you can borrow mine

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : thank you!

 

 **imstarknaked** : come on guys!

 

 **imstarknaked** : you should already be packed!

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : now cloakie’s mad at me!

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : shit they’ve locked me in the apartment

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : I’LL SAVE YOU

 

 **imstarknaked** : NO

  
**imstarknaked** : WADE WINSTON WILSON GET YOUR BUTT OVER TO THE JET  


**birdbrain** : nah

 

 **birdbrain** : I wanna see how this turns out

 

 **wintersmoulder** : five bucks says wade gets punched in the balls by the cloak

**birdbrain** : ten says strange is the one to punch him

 

 **wintersmoulder** : deal

 

 **legolas** : ooh!

 **legolas** : pete, pay up

 

 **spideyboy** : fine, I’ll give it to you when i get to the jet

 

 **iwandawhy** : what?

 

 **legolas** : I bet him 5 dollars bucky would bet someone would punch wade in the balls.

 

 **wintersmoulder** : how did you know that I would?

 

 **legolas** : you do it quite a lot

 

 **spideyboy** : yeah, I just took it to humour clint

 

 **capsicle** : I can’t believe you guys are betting against each other!

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : ha!

**urallnatmyproblem** : tony give me the money

 

 **imstarknaked** : *sigh*

 

 **capsicle** : seriously?

 

 **capsicle** : you too?

 

 **imstarknaked** : hey don’t look at me like that

 

 **imstarknaked** : we all have bets going on with each other

 

 **birdbrain** : and don’t act all innocent Steve Rogers

 

 **birdrain** : we all know you have bets going

 

 **imstarknaked** : ok it’s great that we’ve outed mr perfect

 

 **imstarknaked** : BUT COULD WE ALL GET OUR BUTTS TO THE JET?

 

 **capsicle** : you called me perfect ;D

 

 **imstarkaked** deleted imstarknaked’s message

**imstarknaked** : no I didn’t

 

 **imstarknaked** : I deleted it

 

 **imstarknaked** : there is no evidence

 

  **urallnatmyproblem** : too late

 

 **urallnatmyproblme** : I already screen-shot it

 

 **imstarknaked** : well shit

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : STUFF YOU STRANGE YOU CAN DEAL WITH YOUR SAVAGE CLOAK BY YOURSELF

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : IT PROBABLY HAS RABIES

 

 **birdbrain** : wade, you probably have rabies

 

 **wintersmoulder** : did it hit you?

 

**dopeassfreshprince: YES  
**

 

 **wintersmoulder** : where?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : WHERE DO YOU THINK?

 

 **wintersmoulder** : Pay up, sam, ten bucks

 

 **birdbrain** : fine

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : hey loki

**imnotstrangeurstrange** : im going to have to bring my cloak

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : is that ok?

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : fine

 

 **imstarknaked** : EVERYONE GET THE FUCK OVER TO THE JET

 

 **imstarknaked** : EVERYONE HERE?

 

 **imstarknaked** : GOOD

 

 **imstarknaked** : AUSTRALIA AWAITS  


**capsicle** : WHAT DID WE SAY ABOUT SHOUTING ON THE GROUP CHAT?

 

 **imstarknaked** : I THOUGHT THAT WAS ONLY ARGUING

  
  
**imstarknaked** : HONEST MISTAKE, REALLY

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : AUUUSTRAAALLLLIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!


	13. The plane ride

 

 

**AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!!!**

 

 **wintersmoulder** : so

 

 **wintesmoudler** : where exactly are we going?

 

 **birdbrain** : dude

 

 **birdbrain** : we’re on the same plane

 

 **birdbrain** : and it’s a private jet for crying out loud!

 

 **legolas** : but you’re not crying out loud

 

 **legolas** : you’re texting silently

 

 **birdbrain** : well tell that to the people who made the expression before phones were invented!

 

 **wintersmoulder** : could someone answer my question?

 

 **capsicle** : Barrier Reef, Uluru, Sydney, Hobart.

 

 **spideyboy** : awwwwwwwwwwww

 

 **spideyboy** : that’s so little!

 

 **spideyboy** : that’s like, three states!

**imstarknaked** : there are only seven

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : one of them’s a territory, not a state.

 

 **letskeepthislokI** : how did you know that?

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : even I didn’t know that and I have literally got a photographic memory

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : then again, I’ve never been to Australia

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : I hath no idea

 

 **spideyboy** : anyway

**spideyboy** : back to the point

 

 **spideyboy** : that’s so little!

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : however, little spider, the places we are going we will see desert, ocean, city and forest

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : …

 

 **iwandawhy** : how the hell do you know all that?

 

 **rawrimadinosaur** : I am not sure

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : it’s all his lovely Chrissy Hemsworth talking, the little aussie pumpkin!

 

 **legolas** : what

 

 **legolas** : the fuck

 

 **capsicle** : language!

 

 **imstarknaked** : guys

 

 **imstarknaked** : im trying to fly a jet here

 

 **imstarknaked** : why is my phone dinging so much?

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : pfft I’ve already silenced the chat

 

 **birdbrain** : then how the hell do you always find a way to slide into the conversation when you are called?

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : wouldn’t you like to know

 

 **iwandawhy** : guys

 

 **iwandawhy** : we already discussed this

 

 **iwandawhy** : she’s an alien

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : *sigh*

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : I wish I was

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : *gasp!*

 

 **dopeassfreshrprince** : hey!

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : thor is an alien god

              

 **dopeassfreshprince** : and he’s Australian

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : does that make him and AustrALIEN?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : anyone?

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : but I am not Australian…

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : come on guys humour me!

 

 **spideyboy** : ha ha wade that was a very good joke that we all got

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : indeed…

 

 **iwandawhy** : hey

 

 **iwandawhy** : where’s bruce?

 

 **capsicle** : look to your right

 

 **iwandawhy** : AWWWWWW!!

 

 **iwandawhy** : HE’S SO CUTE WHEN HE’S SLEEPING!!!!!!!

 

 **birdbrain** : THAT IS ACTUALLY QUITE DISTURBING WANDA YOU DON’T SAY THAT ABOUT SLEEPING PEOPLE

 

 **wintersmoulder** : UNLESS THEY’RE PETE

 

 **wintersmoulder** : HE IS ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE

 

 **imstarknaked** : IM PRETTY SURE THAT IS PEDOPHILIA

 

 **wintersmoulder** : THAT CAME OUT WRONG

 

 **wintersmoulder** : BUT EVERYONE WOULD AGREE WITH ME

 

 **wintersmoudler** : PETEY IS ADORABLE

 

 **imstarknaked** : TRUE

 

 **legolas** : ^^^

 

 **birdbrain** : ^^^

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : ^^^

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : THAT IS TRUE

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : INDEED

 

 **spideyboy** : HEY

 

 **spideyboy** : I AM MILDLY CONCERNED

 

 **spideyboy** : DO YOU GUYS WATCH ME SLEEP?

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : NO THAT IS WEIRD

 

 **birdbrain** : NO

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : I DO

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : AND I’M NOT SORRY

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : YOU ARE TOO ADORABLE

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : I CAN’T RESIST

 

 **imstarknaked** : GUYS

 

 **imstarknaked** : SHUT UP YOU’LL WAKE BRUCE

 

 **legolas** : THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS

 

 **capsicle** : Everyone, stop texting so much.

 

 **legolas** : no!

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : we refuse to allow your dad voice to stop us!

 

 **iwandawhy** : how else are we supposed to entertain ourselves during this plane ride?

 

 **capsicle** : hmm let me think

 

 **imstarknaked** : cap? being passive aggressive?

 

 **imstarnaked** : I’m impressed.

 

 **capsicle** : we are literally a plane full of enhanced humans.

 

 **capsicle** : I bet you can figure something out

 

 **capsicle** : maybe start by talking to each other

 

 **capsicle** : honestly

 

 **capsicle** : today’s generation seem to be all concerned with their social media

**capsicel** : constantly texting, taking selfies

 

 **capsicle** : looking at the newest gossip

 

 **capsicle** : no one is concerned about what really matters

 

 **capsicle** : making and maintaining friendships

**capsicle** : enjoying each others’ company

 

 **capsicle** : and just socialising really

 

 **capsicle** : because that leads to greater knowledge

 

 **capsicle** : and unites us together

 

 **capsicle** : because together we are stronger

 

 **capsicle** : and I know it sounds cheesy

 

 **capsicle** : but together we can change the world

 

 **legolas** : ok mr face of the propaganda you can stop now

 

 **legolas** : we’ve all been talking these last fifteen minutes you’ve been texting

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : why are you so slow at typing?


	14. The quotes

 

**AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!!!**

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : why does it take so loooooong?

 

 **imstarknaked** : to travel 15 000 km?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : yesssssss

 

 **legolas** : yeah tony

 

 **legolas** : we’re in a jet

 

 **legolas** : we should be there by now

 

 **imstarknaked** : well I’M sorry that SOMEONE wanted to take a detour

 

 **imstarknaked** : TO HAWAII  


**spideyboy** : oh come on

 

 **spideyboy** : I’ve never been outside the US before!

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : when we get back im taking you to Canada

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : we can play ice hockey!

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : you can do that in the US  


**dopeassfreshprince** : yeah but its not the same

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : yes it is

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : no its not!

 

 **imstarknaked** : there is no way we are going ice skating

 

 **wintersmoulder** : ha

 

 **wintersmoulder** : I used to ice skate when I was younger

 

 **wintersmoulder** : I took tony once

 

 **wintersmoulder** : he fell over

 

 **wintersmoulder** : it was in the headlines the next day

 

 **imstarknaked** : hey I did NOT fall

 

 **imstarknaked** : …

**imstarknaked** : the ice looked lonely so I gave it a hug

 

 **birdbrain** : you never give hugs

 

 **imstarknaked** : I hug peter

**letskeepthisloki** : invalid

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : it’s impossible NOT to hug peter

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : HE IS TOO CUTE  


**spideyboy** : seriously

**spideyboy** : again?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : :3

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : WHIPPED  


**dopeassfreshprince** : I LOVE MY BF PETER PARKER!!!!!

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : hang on

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : are ANY of us actually straight?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : that depends

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : too many universes

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : in this universe, it seems

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : NOPE!

 

 **legolas** : well

 

 **legolas** : you know what they say

 

 **legolas** : I’m straight as spaghetti

 

 **legolas** : which is straight

 

 **legolas** : until it gets hot ;D

 

 **iwandawhy** : …

 

 **iwandawhy** : no one says that

 

 **legolas** : well I say it

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : what do you guys think your year book quotes are going to be?

 

 **birdbrain** : I haven’t really thought about it

 

 **birdbrain** : ummmmmm

 

 **birdbrain** : ‘Uh-huh. On my left. Got it.’

 

 **capsicle** : ‘You get hurt, hurt ‘em back. You get killed… walk it off.’

 

 **imstarknaked** : ‘Doth mother know you weareth her drapes?’

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : did you actually put that in your yearbook?

 

 **imstarknaked** : yes

 

 **wintersmoulder** : he was going to do that or ‘give me a scotch. I’m starving’

 

 **spideyboy** : but he was underage?

 

 **imstarknaked** : exactly

 

 **imstarknaked** : that’s why I had to change it

 

 **iwandawhy** : you should have done ‘genius billionaire playboy philanthropist.’

 

 **imstarknaked** : that was after graduation

 

 **iwandawhy** : shame

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : ^^^

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : ‘You people are so petty and tiny’

 

 **spideyboy** : or should yours be ‘GET HELP!!!’

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : NO!

**rawrimadinothor** : YES!  


**urallnatmyproblem** : mine would be ‘Let me put you on hold.’

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : ‘Dormammu, I’ve come to bargain!’

 

 **spideyboy** : classic

 

 **spideyboy** : ‘with great power comes great responsibility’

 

 **legolas** : that’s boring!

 

 **spideboy** : relax!

 

 **spideyboy** : I’m joking!

 

 **spideyboy** : ummm

 

 **spideyboy** : “you’re a criminal! bye mr criminal!”

 

 **birdbrain** : when’d you say that?

 

 **spideyboy** : when I webbed a dude to his car and told him it would dissolve in two hours

 

 **spideyboy:** then he said he had ice cream in the car

 

 **iwandawhy** : peter!

 

 **iwandawhy** : that’s cruel!

 

 **spideboy** : he was a criminal!

 

 **legolas** : he deserved it

 

 **legolas** : ‘Say something, willya? I hae to fight in silence!’

 

 **spideboy** : mood

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : ‘I’ll have that drink now.’

 

**wintersmoulder: ‘you’re a punk’**

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : ‘once my tv didn’t work, so I kicked it and it started working again’

 

 **imstarknaked** : phew

 

 **imstarknaked** : I thought it was going to be worse than that

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** well that or

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : ‘now, GIMME YOUR MILK MONEY!!!’

 

 **imstarknaked** : nevermind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I hope you enjoyed! Join my discord server! (a link will go up on my other fic when i next update) 
> 
> https://discord.gg/xuETavH


	15. The vegemite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO, MY LOVELIES!
> 
> Sorry, I haven't updated in a while, personal shit happened.
> 
> Um... here's a chapter?
> 
> thanks for reading!

 

**AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!!!**

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** hey

 

 **dopeassfreshprince:** next we need to try vegemite

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : nope

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : nope nope nope nope

 

 **legolas** : I’ve never had vegemite before

 

 **capsicle** : I don’t think any of us have

 

 **capsicle** : apart from wade and steven

 

 **spideyboy** : and me

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : it’s really good

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : you put it on a spoon and eat it

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : kinda like Nutella

 

 **spideyboy** : …

 

 **birdbrain** : sounds nice

 

 **birdbrain** : we should get it

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : …

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : my spidey-sense is going off

 

 **spideyboy** : hey that’s my shtick!

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : meh, we’re both spiders

 

 **spideyboy** : but that’s not how it works…

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : husssssssshhhhhh

(later that day)

 

 **AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!!!**  
  


**birdbrain** : WADE WINSTON WILSON

 

 **birdbrain** : WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : you’ll never find meeeeee

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : he’s in the hotel basement

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : NATASHA!

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : what

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : don’t out me like that!

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : you deserve it for hiding like a coward

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : I’m not a coward!

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : you would hide too if you had captain america, iron man, hawkeye, the falcon and the winter soldier looking to MURDER YOU  


**urallnatmyproblem** : maybe, but I wouldn’t do any thing in the first place to make them WANT to murder me

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : but you KNEW  


**dopeassfreshprince** : YOU KNEW THAT WASN’T THE CORRECT WAY TO EAT VEGEMITE

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : THAT’S WHY YOU DIDN’T EAT IT

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : Well no shit Sherlock

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : I have a spidey-sense, remember

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : you know, wade, I’m pretty sure the other day you said ‘my common sense is tingling’

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : what happened to that common sense, huh?

 

 **iwandawhy** : ohhhh!

 

 **iwandawhy** : brucie coming up with some sick burns

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : clint, get off wanda’s phone

 

 **iwandawhy** : WHAT?

 

 **iwandawhy** : HOW DID YOU KNOW???

 

**urallnatmyproblem: …**

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : spidey sense, remember?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : SHIT I CAN HEAR THEM TRYING TO GET THROUGH THE DOOR

 

 **spideyboy** : I’LL SAVE YOU

 

 **dopeassfeshprince** : I’d hate to rush you Baby-boy, but could you HURRY UP?????

 

 **spideyboy** : I’M COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : hey clint

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : why aren’t you trying to murder wade?

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : I thought you would look for any excuse to shoot wade with your arrows

 

 **legolas** : I know

 

 **legolas** : but it was a good prank

 

 **legolas** : and I may have got him back by vomiting on his bed

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : you

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : vomited

 

 **urallnatmyproblem:** on his bed?

 

 **legolas** : well, no

 

 **legolas** : it’s fake

 

 **legolas** : my own creation. Pretty proud of it, actually

 

 **legolas** : but wade doesn’t know that

 

 **legolas** : and I set a stink bomb off in his room

 

 **legolas** : and sealed it so it wouldn’t seep into the living room

 

 **spideyboy** : DUDE

 

 **spideyboy** : WHY

 

 **spideyboy** : WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU???  


**legolas** : huh

 

 **legolas** : forgot you guys shared a room

 

 **legolas** : *shrug*

 

 **spideyboy** : CLINT

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : PETEY

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : THEY’RE HERE

        

 **dopeassfreshprince** : YOU’RE TOO LATE

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : SAY GOODBYE TO EVERYONE FOR ME

 

 **spideyboy** : wade says goodbye

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : thanks!

 

 **spideyboy** : uwu


	16. The fries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Sorry I haven't updated in a while, and if you are reading this, thanks! I will be updating, so strap in. I love you all so much, and I hope you enjoy! <3 Also, I've uploaded this onto Wattpad under the same username, so check it out if you want! My other fic is also uploaded there as well.

 

 **legolas** : you know tony

 

 **legolas** : as a billionaire I kind of expected you to be able to hire a limo

 

 **legolas** : instead of three taxis

 

 **wintersmoulder** : yeah, well, maybe the limo was too expensive

 

 **wintersmoulder** : maybe tony wants to save up his money

 

 **wintersmoulder** : or maybe

 

 **wintersmoulder** : tony wanted to hire three taxis so that he wouldn’t have to see you because god knows I don’t want to set eyes on you, you stupid piece of filth

 

 **legolas** : what did I do?

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : WE ALL STINK

 

 **birdbrain** : THANKS TO YOU

 

 **birdbrain** : THE STINK SEEPED EVERYWHERE

 

 **imstarknaked** : AND WE ALL FUCKING STINK

 

 **capsicle** : LANGUAGE

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : I mean

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : If you want

 

 **rawrimsdinothor** : brother, you could charm the smell of them!

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : …

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : YES

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : fine

 

 **spideyboy** : (.   _   .)

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : peter?

 

 **spideyboy** : ya?

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : do that again and I will skin you

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : do what again?

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : nothing

 

 **imnotstrangeursstrange** : ok…

 

 

 

 **letskeepthisloki** to **spideyboy**

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : why did you do that?

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : now steven thinks I am weird

 

 **spideyboy** : loki

 

 **spideyboy** : you are one of the weirdest people I know

 

 **spideyboy** : you literally fucked a horse

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : …

 

 **spideyboy** : anyway

 

 **spideyboy** : why do you care bout what lil stevie thinks of you, huh?

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : I don’t

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : I just like leaving good impressions on people

 

 **spideyboy** : you didn’t think that text through before you sent it, did you?

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : I hate you, peter

 

 **spideyboy** : I know you mean love!

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : ew you sound like Wilson

       

 **spideyboy** : and you sound like tony

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : ahhhh you’re right

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : do you want fries?

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : I want fries

**letskeepthisloki** : lets buy fries

 

 

 

 

**AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!!!**

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : I want fries

 

 **imstarknaked** : ok…

 

 **legolas:** Pit Stop!

 

 

 

**AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!!!**

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : WHAT IS THIS THING I AM INGESTING INTO MY BODY?

 

 **birdbrain** : a fry?

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : TIS NOT JUST A FRY, MY DEAR SAMUEL

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : TIS MORE THAN JUST A FRY

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : TIS A CHICKEN FRY

 

 **birdbrain** : what the hell are you talking about?

 

 **iwandawhy** : THESE ARE THE MOST DELICIOUS FRIES I HAVE EVER EATEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE

 

 **spideyboy** : oh really?

 

 **spideyboy** : ya know

 

 **spideyboy** : maybe I would have liked to try some

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : why didn’t you?

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : they’re REALLY good

 

 **wintersmoulder** : we added chicken salt to them

 

 **imstarknaked** : you can only get it in Australia

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : CAN WE MOVE TO AUSTRALIA

**letskeepthisloki** : for the chicken salt?

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : YES

                  

 **imstarknaked** : I agree

 

 **imstarknaked** : everyone bombard steve with messages

 

 **imstarknaked** : ha we crashed steves phone

 

 **spideyboy** : anyway

 

 **spideyboy** : I WOULD have liked to try a few

 

 **spideyboy** : except for the fact

 

 **spideyboy** : THAT WADE ATE THEM ALL

 

 **spideyboy** : why wade?

 

 **spideyboy** : I think I’m going to have to break up with you

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : nooooooo baby-boy don’t do this

 

 **spideyboy** : goodbye wade

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : goodbye, my love

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : I don’t want to go back to schoooooooool

 

 **imstarknaked** : I don’t wanna go back to woooorrrrkkkkk

 

 **capsicle** : you don’t work

 

 **capsicle** : I work

 

 **capsicle** : you play

 

 **imstarknaked** : but I just got this really good taaaannnnn

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : same

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : I didn’t even know I COULD tan

 

 **iwandawhy** : sniff

 

 **iwandawhy** : I am still pale

 

 **legolas** : well at least you’re not burnt

 

 **legolas** : I on the other hand look like the love child of a lobster and a red panda.

 

 **legolas** : sunglasses tan line and all

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : you said it not me


	17. The Natasha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha gets sick of Loki and Strange arguing- more arguing ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! This came from a promt from MugenYumeDansu, who's done some really great works- you should check them out. 
> 
> Anywho! 
> 
> Here's a chapter! I'm trying to get back into the swing of things now that all my major assessments and tests are over and done with.  
> Hope you enjoy!

**AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!!!**

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : I have never been so glad to see the tower

 

 **imstarknaked** : there was that time after Vegas

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : what Happens in vegas Stays in vegas

 

 **imstarknaked** : but what about what happens AFTER vegas?

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : same principle tony

 

 **imstarknaked** : dammit

 

 **imstarknaked** : anyway

 

 **imstarknaked** : I gotta go to a meeting Pepper’s making me go to

 

 **imstarknaked** : I’ll text on the way

 

 **imstarknaked** : then I’ll turn my phone off

 

 **imstarknaked** : alert Jarvis if there’s an emergency.

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : ok.

 

imnostrangeurstrange: but I agree

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : it’s good to be home

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : says the person who wanted to leave as soon as vegemite was bought.

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : says the person who wanted to go home when they forgot their face masks!

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT  


**imnotstrangeurstrange** : I’M A SORCERER FOR GOD’S SAKE

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : I AM A GOD. HOW CAN IT BE FOR MY SAKE?  


**imstarknaked** : THEN FOR MY SAKE

 

 **imstarknaked** : STOP ARGUING  


**capsicle** : Did tony just imply that he was a god?

 

 **capsicle** : Because that’s the feeling I got.

 

 **imstarknaked** : maybe

**imstarknaked** : but it was unintentional.

 

 **birdbrain** : sure.

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : well if SOMEONE hadn’t taken a 45 minute shower I may have been able to WASH THE VEGEMITE OUT OF MY MOUTH IN THE SINK

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : THERE IS SUCH THING AS A KITCHEN SINK

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : YOU HADN’T WASHED THE DISHES THE NIGHT BEFORE

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : DOING THE DISHES MAKES MY HANDS PRUNY  


**imnostrangeurstrange** : AND TAKING 45 MINUTE SHOWERS DOESN’T?

 

 **legolas** : are they going to stop?

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : IT’S DIFFERENT

 

 **spideyboy** : I think we’ve all given up by this point

**imnostrangeurstrange** : HOW IS IT ANY DIFFERENT?

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : I DON’T KNOW! YOUR HANDS DON’T GO PRUNY IN THE SHOWER  


**imnotstrangeurstrange** : WELL I GUESS I WOULDN’T KNOW THAT BECAUSE MY SHOWERS TAKE 5 MINUTES

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : HOW DO YOU HAVE SUCH NICE SKIN IF YOU ONLY TAKE A 5 MINUTE SHOWER?!

 

 **imnostrangeurstrange** : YOU’RE ONE TO TALK MR ‘I AM A GOD AND CAN LITERALLY CHANGE MY FORM’

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : OH WE’RE GOING THERE ARE WE MR ‘I AM A POWERFUL SORCERER WHO CAN BEND TIME AND HAS REALLY HOT FACIAL HAIR.’

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : YES WE ARE GOING THERE MR ‘I CAN SURVIVE HAVING MY HEAD CHOPPED OFF BUT NOT GOING THE DAY WITHOUT A FACE MASK.’

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : OH REALLY MR ‘I ONCE DATED THE NIECE OF A DEMONIC TYRANT.’

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : WHAT DOES CLEA HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS?  


**letskeepthisloki** : NOTHINHABJKJSMNIui

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : loki?

 

 **spideyboy** : Where’d he go? I thought something was finally going to happen

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : he better not have fallen in thakjskjKJFBKJk

 

 **legolas** : ok now what

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : what happened?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : where’d they go?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : ANGSTY 1 AND ANGSTY 2 WHERE ARE YOU

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : I locked them in the lab

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : ROMANOFF I SWEAR TO GOD LET US OUT

 

 **imnostrangeurstrange** : why did you do this

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : why

                

 **spideyboy** : when are you going to let them out?

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : when I feel it’s appropriate

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : WIDOW  


**letskeepthisloki** : LET US OUT  


**letskeepthisloki** : COULD YOU HAVE PICKED A SMALLER LAB?  


**urallnatmyproblem** : I didn’t think you’d have minded

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : and anyway I can’t

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : it autolocked and I don’t have a key to open it back up

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : someone please help

 

 **imnostrangeurstrange** : I think loki’s freaking out

 

 **imnostrangeurstrange** : he’s shifted into a gazillion different animals and keeps running into the walls

 

 **imnostrangeurstrange** : I think he’s trying to phase through the walls

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : its not working tho…

 

 **birdbrain** : yeah tony put in a new safety precaution that prevents phasing

 

 **birdbrain** : reinforced the walls as well.

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : well someone tell loki that

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : he’s going to get a concussion

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : ouch yeah I heard that bang from here

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : meh I guess you’ll have to wait it out until Tony gets back from wherever he is.

 

 **spideyboy** : sam, wade. You thinking what I’m thinking?

 

 **birdbrain** : let’s do this

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : RESCUE MISSION!!!!!

 

 


	18. The weapons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An attempt at a rescue mission- featuring screaming and explosions

 

**AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!!!**

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : I’VE GOT THE EXPLOSIVES

 

 **birdbrain** : LET’S GO BLOW SOME SHIT UP

 

 **spideyboy** : ISN’T THAT A LITTLE EXCESSIVE?

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : I AGREE.

 

 **spideyboy** : I PROMISE YOU NO ONE WILL GET HURT

 

 **birdbrain** : except maybe loki

 

 **birdbrain** : he really needs to stop banging into the walls

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : banging? blowing?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : daddypool likey

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : NATASHA

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : CAN YOU LOCK ME AND PETEY IN A LAB?

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : no way

 

 **spideyboy** : … I kinda agree with deadpool…

 

 **legolas** : EW

 

 **legolas** : NO

 

 **legolas** : MY EYES ARE BLEEDING

 

 **legolas** : I GO AWAY TO GRAB SOME TOAST

**legolas** : AND THEN THIS

 

 **legolas** : WHY

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : there will be grabbing as well, don’t worry

 

 **spideyboy** : *shrug*

 

 **legolas** : EWWWW

 

 **birdbrain** : so, are we going to rescue stroki?

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : stroki?

 

 **birdbrain** : strange and loki

 

 **legolas** : I like it

 

 **spideyboy** : we will, I just need to find wade

 

 **spideyboy** : anyone seen him?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : HAS ANYONE SEEN MY ROCKET LAUNCHER?

 

 **birdbrain** : why do you need a rocket launcher?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : coz iron dick’s walls were always hard to bust through

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : but if they’re reinforced then we’re gonna need some serious ammo.

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : i’ve already got my stash of Mk3A2’s

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : you do NOT need grenades

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : ya never know

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : be prepared and all that shit

 

 **legolas** : you were never a boy scout

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : shut up, circus clown

**legolas** : naaatttt he’s bullying me

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : sort it out yourself, circus boy

 

 **legolas** : rUdE!!

 

 **spideyboy** : right

 

 **spideyboy** : I’ve got wade

 

 **spideyboy** : rescue stroki is a-go

 

 **birdbrain** : I BAGS THE FLAMETHROWER

 

 **spideyboy** : I BAGS THE ROCKET LAUNCHER  


**dopeassfreshprince** : I BAGS EVERYTHING ELSE

 

 

 

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT NOISE  


**letskeepthisloki** : IS THERE AN EARTHQUAKE

 

 **spideyboy** : That was wade

 

 **spideyboy** : he set the grenade off early

**birdbrain** : we may or may not have thrown it into the bathroom

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : aaaaaannnd now its flooding

 

 **legolas** : the bathroom?

 

 **spideyboy** : no, the hallway outside the bathroom

 

 **spideyboy** : and the bathroom

 

 **birdbrain** : that’s a lot of damage

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : reckon flex tape will fix it?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : nah

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : MORE GRENADES  


**imnotstrangeurstrange** : AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : AAAAHhhHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : WHOOOOO!!!!

 

 **spideyboy** : HOW DID THAT NOT WORK?  


**birdbrain** : maybe the walls have vibranium in them?

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : HOW ABOUT WE JUST WAIT UNTIL TONY COMES BACK

 

 **birdbrain** : nah, that’s less fun

 

 **birdbrain** : FLAMETHROWER  


**imnotstrangeurstrange** : AAAAAAaaaAAAAA I SWEAR TO GOD YOU GUYS ARE DEAD!!!!

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : AAAAAQAAAAAAAADSADADDFAHGKHDGSKJBDKJSHKJhkJhkjhfskjdhkJHAKSJHKSJHSKJSHK

 

 **legolas** : oh my god I can hear their screams from up here

 

 **legolas** : hahahahaha this is too good

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : best idea I’ve ever had

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : SOMEONE HELP US  


**spideyboy** : WE’RE TRYING

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : SOMEONE HELP US FROM YOU

**spideyboy** : oh

 

 **spideyboy** : nevermind then

 

 **spideyboy** : ROCKETLAUNCHER

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : NO

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : AAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **imnostrangeurstrange** : THERE IS SMOKE COMING OUT FROM UNDER THE DOOR

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : that was so hot, petey pie

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : and of course there is smoke from under the door

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : the hallway is on fire

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : duh

 

 **birdbrain** : and it’s flooding

 

 **spideyboy** : and there are holes in the floor

 

 **birdbrain** : and the windows

 

 **legolas** : why aren’t the fire alarms going off?

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

**letskeepthislokI** : SOMEONE HELP US  


**letskeepthisloki** : ROMANOFF

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : BARTON  

 

 **legolas** : nah this is funny as hell

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : and none of you are my problem, so…

 

 


	19. The EXPLOSIONS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They are released- featuring the oldies, a confused Bruce and screaming. LOTS of screaming.

**AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!!!**

 

 **capsicle** : WHAT THE HELL IS ALL THIS NOISE  


**wintersmoulder** : WHY CAN I HEAR SCREAMING  


**capsicle** : WAS THAT AN EXPLOSION??!!!

 

 **birdbrain** : oh, hi cap and bucky!

 

 **spideyboy** : we’re rescuing loki and steven who are locked in one of the labs!

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : with explosives!

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : loki and strange were arguing too much

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : so I shoved them in one of the labs but it autolocked and I don’t have a key

 

 **legolas** : we’re waiting for tony to come back

 

 **wintersmoulder** : has anyone actually called tony?

 

 **wintersmoulder** : to tell him to come back from wherever the hell he is?

 

 **birdbrain** : …

 

 **legolas** : …

 

 **spideyboy** : …

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : nope

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : YOU HAVE GOT TO BE JOKING  


**imnotstrangeurstrange** : SOMEONE CALL STARK

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : NOW.

 

 **wintersmoulder** : I’m doing it now

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : AAAAAAA!!!!

 

 **capsicle** : CAN EVERYONE STOP EXPLODING STUFF?

 

 **legolas** : HAHAHAHAHA!

 

 **legolas** : NAT YOU ARE A GENIUS

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : I know.

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : AAAAAAA

 

 **capsicle** : I TOLD YOU ALL TO STOP EXPLODING STUFF  


**spideyboy** : whoops

 

 **spideyboy** : it just… slipped

 

 **wintersmoulder** : which floor are you guys on?

 

 **birdbrain** : the one with smoke coming out the window

 

 **birdbrain** : oh wait no there is no window anymore

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : my bad

 

 **birdbrain** : also the floor that’s flooded

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : also my bad

 

 **spideyboy** : well really it’s stroki’s fault for arguing so much

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : HOW IS IT OUR FAULT?

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : LET US OUT MORTALS

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : HAS ANYONE CALLED STARK?

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : WHERE IS MY BROTHER

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : I am watching the happenings

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : tis quite enjoyable, actually

 

 **legolas** : enjoyable is an understatement

 

 **legolas** : this is fucking hilarious!

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : IT IS NOT  


**imnotstrangeurstrange** : LET US OUT BEFORE WE SUFFOCATE  


**birdbrain** : WE’Re TRYING

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : FOR THE LAST TIME, NOT YOU

 

 **wintersmoulder** : steve and I are coming down now

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : HURRY UP WE’VE BEEN IN HERE FOR THIRTY MINUTES

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : at least you aren’t falling

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : DO NOT BRING THAT UP NOW  


**letskeepthisloki** : those are dark memories.

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : hey petey

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : we haven’t used the rocket launcher in a while

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : maybe that will work

 

 **spideyboy** : it would be my pleasure

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : STOP

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : STOP IT  


**letskeepthisloki** : I HATE YOU ALL

 

 **capsicle** : hang on

 

 **capsicle** : bruce has a key to all the labs

 

 **capsicle** : why haven’t you called him?

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : I thought he was out

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : why hasn’t he texted anyone yet?

 

 **wintersmoulder** : I’m not sure

 

 **wintersmoulder** : ok change of plans stroki

 

 **wintersmoulder** : we’re going to get banner

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : yes!

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : maybe hulkie can smash through the walls!

 

 **capsicle** : NO

 

 **capsicle** : WE’RE GETTING THE KEY

 

 **wintersmoulder** : no more bloWING STUFF UP

 

 **spideyboy** : awwww

 

 **spideyboy** : but it’s so fun!

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : wade you are a bad influence on peter

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : which floor are you guys on?

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : the 74th

 

 **letskeepthislokI** ; oh so NOW you come

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : sorry

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : I was in my lab

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : I couldn’t hear

 

 **birdbrain** : how the hell couldn’t you hear us?

 

 **birdbrain** : we had rocket launchers!

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : grenades!

 

 **spideyboy** : flamethrowers!

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : …

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : I had tony’s playlist on full volume…

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : I thought it was just the bass line…

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : ok I’m here

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : WHAT HAVE YOU GUYS DONE?

 

 **birdbrain** : we… redecorated…

 

 **smoldnerdbrucie** : ok it’s unlocked

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : OH THANK GOD

**imnotstrangeurstrange** : BRUCE I LOVE YOU

 

 

 

 

 **imstarknaked** : WHAT HAPPENED TO MY TOWER  


**imstarknaked** : THE FLOOR HAS HOLES IN IT  


**imstarknaked** : THE BATHROOM HAS FLOODED  


**imstarknaked** : THE WINDOW IS NON-EXISTANT

 

 **imstarknaked** : EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE  


**imstarknaked** : THE ONLY THING STILL STANDING IS THE FAR WALL

 

 **imstarknaked** : I AM CALLED BACK BECAUSE OF A POSSIBLY NATIONAL EMERGENCY  


**imstarknaked** : AND I COME BACK AND EVERYONE IS IN THE PENTHOUSE EATING PIZZA

 

 **imstarknaked** : SOMEBODY EXPLAIN  


**imstarknaked** : NOW  


**imstarknaked** : ANYONE?  


**letskeepthisloki** : hey strange?

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : yes?

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : wanna go on a date?

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : sure

 

 **spideyboy:** YES ****  
  


**spideyboy** : YESYESYESYESYESYES

 

 **spideyboy** : FINALLYYYYYYYYYY

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : you’re all welcome.

 

 **imstarknaked** : MY TOWER IS RUINED  


**urallnatmyproblem** : it’s one floor stark

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : calm down

 

 

 


	20. The green

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They get turned green- featuring angry people and a pretty silly culprit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my beautiful readers! This was another prompt by MugenYumeDansu, so I hope you enjoy! Remember, you can leave any suggestions that you want to see! I do have an overarching plot for this, and that will happen, trust me, but there's always room for more! Your suggestions will just help me update quicker. Love you all, and I hope you enjoy!

**AVENGERS SQUAD!!!**

 

 **iwandawhy** : I call first shower when we get back

 

 **imstarknaked** : …

 

 **imstarknaked** : I have a tower full of showers

 

 **imstarknaked** : more than enough to ensure everyone can have a shower at the same time

 

 **capsicle** : and we sure need one

 

 **spideyboy** : I think I have alien guts in my nose

 

 **legolas** : I feel sick

 

 **legolas** : I have alien guts squelching in my boots

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : let’s all have showers then I’ll make dinner.

 

 **wintersmoulder** : sounds good

 

 

 

 

**AVENGERS SQUAD!!!**

 

 **birdbrain** : WHY AM I GREEN

 

 **legolas** : I FEEL SICKER THAN I DID BEFORE  


**legolas** : get it?

 

 **legolas** : because I’m green?

 

 **legolas** : WHY AM I GREEN?

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : MJOLNIR WAS IN THE SHOWER AS WELL

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : AND NOW THEY ARE GREEN

 

 **iwandawhy** : you shower with your hammer?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : more importantly

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : why doesn’t Mjolnir have a squiggly red line under it?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : writer lady is shooketh

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : even shooketh has a squiggly red line under it, and it’s basically a word

 

 **birdbrain** : WHYY AMMM I GREEEEENNNNN

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : I swear I will murder whoever did this

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : now you know what it feels like

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : I’m blue all the time

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : (I’m blue, da ba dee da ba daa)

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : MY BEARD IS GREEN

 

 **imstarknaked** : MY BEARTEE IS GREEN

 

 **birdbrain** : your bear tree?

 

 **iwandawhy** : your t-shirt with a bear on it?

 

 **imstarknaked** : MY BEARD-GOATEE

 

 **spideyboy** : NOT THE BEARTEE

 

 **spideyboy** : I LOVE THE BEARTEE

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : I AM GREEN

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : hahahahaha you look like the hulk only half transformed

 

 **iwandawhy** : WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?

 

 **iwandawhy** : I’LL BE KNOWN FROM NOW ON AS THE OLIVE WITCH

 

 **iwandawhy** : oLiVe

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : I’ll be known as the Green Lynx

 

 **legolas** : ooh this is fun

 

 **legolas** : I’ll be ‘short-tailed green magpie-‘ Eye

 

 **birdbrain** : I’ll be the Green Breasted Mango

**dopeassfreshprince** : I’ll be Green Lantern

 

 **capsicle** : …. who?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : I think it’s best that you don’t know

 

 **wintersmoulder** : I think we’re all missing the point here.

 

 **wintersmoulder** : we need to find who did this

 

 **wintersmoulder** : and SQUASH THEM

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : I mean, that’s a bit impossible don’t you think

 

 **wintersmoulder** : NO

 

 **wintersmoulder** : I WILL STEAL PYM’S TECH, SHRINK WHOEVER DID THIS  


**wintersmoulder** : AND SQUASH. THEM.

 

 **spideyboy** : ok, calm down there, bud.

 

 **wintersmoulder** : WHO EVER DID THIS RUINED MY EYELINER  


**wintersmoulder** : THEY WILL PAY

 

 **legolas** : I mean, was your eyeliner ever any good?

 

 **legolas** : even before the greening?

 

 **wintersmoulder** : DID YOU DO THIS?

 

 **leoglas** : NO!

**legolas** : if I did I would have used a nice colour

 

 **legolas** : like purple

 

 **birdbrain** : who likes green?

 

 **imstarknaked** : loki seemed pretty ok with all this

 

 **imstarknaked** : seemed better than ok…

 

 **wintersmoulder** : LOKI

 

 **wintersmoulder** : DID YOU DO THIS?

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : and ruin my hair?

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : plus this dye probably has some weird chemicals in it that will screw up my skin

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : although I do look good in green, I did not do this.

 

 

 

 

 

 **imstarknaked** : have you guys seen the news?

 

 **imstarknaked** sent ( **1) article**

 

 **birdbrain** : ‘new fashion trend, or are they secretly aliens- avengers exposed’

 

 **birdbrain** : oh they have got to be kidding

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : hey wade

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : yes scary lady?

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : why aren’t you green?

 

 **iwandawhy** : WADE ISN’T GREEN??????  


**imstarknaked** : bucky?

 

 **imstarknaked** : would you like to have the honours?

 

 **wintersmoulder** : it would be my pleasure

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : WAIT  


**dopeassfreshprince** : I WAS green, but then my healing factor got rid of the dye

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : no, your hands are green

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : how could you know that?????!!!!

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : I have gloves on!

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : you took them off to text…

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : oh yeah…

 

 **spideyboy** : wade

 

 **spideyboy** : how could you

 

 **spideyboy** : i’m breaking up with you

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : nooooooooooooooo

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : wahat could I possibly do to repay you?

 

 **spideyboy** : not prank anyone for a week?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : sure baby boy

**spideboy** : ok you’re my boyfriend again

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : yay!

 

 **wintersmoulder** : WADE WINSTON WILSON YOU ARE DEAD  


**dopeassfreshprince** : meep

 

 

 

 

 


	21. The Racoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A racoon breaks into the tower, featuring the 5 stages of grief and an angry bucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, mis pollitos! Sorry, I haven't updated recently, so to beg for forgivness this chapter's a little longer. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> <3
> 
> Love you all, thanks so much for reading!

 

 

**AVENGERS SQUAD!!!**

 

 **wintersmoulder** : ok

 

 **wintersmoulder** : being turned green, I can take

 

 **wintersmoulder** : getting teased for my eyeshadow, I can take.

 

 **wintersmoulder** : hell, I can take almost anything

 

 **wintersmoulder** : what I CAN’T take

 

 **wintersmoulder** : is when SOMEONE STEALS MY ARM

 

 **wintersmoulder** : WHERE IS MY LEFT ARM

 

 **wintersmoulder** : IT’S MISSING

 

 **legolas** : don’t you have spares?

 

 **wintersmoulder** : ALL OF THEM ARE GONE  


**birdbrain** : yeah, I was looking for a component for my wings

 

 **legolas** : couldn’t find it

 

 **spideyboy** : has anyone seen my spare webshooters?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : I CAN’T FIND BEA

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : I’VE GOT ARTHUR BUT I CAN’T FIND BEA

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : MY BEAUTIFUL BEA IS GONE  


**dopeassfreshprince** : AND ALL I HAVE LEFT IS GRUMPY-WUMPY

 

 **capsicle** : who is stealing our stuff!?

 

 **imstarknaked** : guys

 

 **imstarknaked** : a prototype for the ark-reactor is gone

 

 **imstarknaked** : ok, keep calm, keep calm.

 

 **imstarknaked** : I’m going to get Friday to scan the tower to look for intruders

**letskeepthisloki** : AAAHHHH!!!!!

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : THERE IS A MONKEY IN THE TOWER

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : BACK, FIEND!

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : it’s in the vents now

 

 **legolas** : AAAAHHHHHHH

 

 **legolas** : WHY IS THERE A RACOON IN THE VENTS?

 

 **legolas** : GET IT OUT

 

 **capsicle:** was that the sound of one of the vents breaking?

**legolas** : …

 

 **legolas** : maybe…

 

 **imstarknaked** : ok guys good news I found an intruder

 

 **imstarknaked** : it’s a racoon.

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : why do you sound so proud for finding that out?

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : I can basically smell your gloating face

 

 **imstarknaked** : cause Jarv can’t locate animals

 

 **imstarknaked** : I had to do it all myself

 

 **birdbrain** : well woopdie doo stark

 

 **birdbrain** : NOW FIND MY PARTS

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : no.

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : Bea CAN’T be gone

 

 **dopeassfreahprince** : life makes no sense

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : what is life?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : I need Bea.

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : uhhhh what?

 

 **spideyboy** : wade’s going through the 5 stages of greif.

 

 **spideyboy** : no 1. denial

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : GET THE RACOON OUT OF MY BATHROOM

**imnotstrangeurstrange** : AAAAAHHHH WHAT IS HAPPENING IT HAS A GUN

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : DID YOU STEAL MY EYESHADOW AGAIN

 

 **wintersmoulder** : no

 

 **wintersmoulder** : the racoon probably did

**urallnatmyproblem** : get. it. back

 

 **wintersmoulder** : we’re trying

 

 **wintersmoulder** : but, you know

 

 **wintersmoulder** : I’M MISSING AN ARM

**dopeassfreshprince** : WELL YOU KNOW I COULD SLICE YOUR OTHER ARM OFF WITH BEA SO YOU WOULD BE MISSING BOTH ARMS

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : IF THEY HADN’T BEEN KIDNAPPED

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : SO YOU SHUT YOUR PIE-HOLE YOU UNGRATEFUL FLUFF BALL

 

 **spideyboy** : stage 2: anger

**smolnerdbrucie** : help me it’s in the labs

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : annnd it’s wearing clothes?

 

 **smolnerdbrucie** : and bucky it has your arm

 

 **wintersmoulder** : HISSSSSS

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : did… you just hiss at the racoon through text?

 

 **wintersmoudler** : yes

 

 **legolas** : I CANNOT HEAR ANYTHING  


**legolas** : THIS IS REALLY WEIRD EVERYTHING SOUNDS LIKE IT’S UNDERWATER

 

 **legolas** : I DON’T LIKE IT

 

 **legolas** : KILL THE RACOON

 

 **wintersmoulder** : KILL THE RACOON

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : KILL THE RACOON

 

 **birdbrain** : KILL THE RACOON

 

 **imstarknaked** : KILL THE RACOON

 

 **spideyboy** : DON’T KILL THE RACOON

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : what if I had kept them in their other case?

**dopeassfreshprince** : if I clean them better from now on, will they come back?

 

 **spideyboy** : stage 3: bargaining.

 

iwandawhy: GUYS THE RACOON IS IN THE FRIDGE

 

 **birdbrain** : oh so NOW the racoon acts like a racoon

 

 **legolas** : MY SANDWICHES

 

 **spideyboy** : I KEPT MY SLICES OF PIZZA IN THERE

 

 **spideyboy** : SOMEONE BETTER SAVE MY PIZZAS

 

 **legolas** : my SANDWICHES  


**leoglas** : DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I SPENT MAKING THEM?  


**legolas** : I WAS GOING TO EAT THEM

 

 **imstarknaked** : what else would you do with them?

**legolas** : …

 

 **legolas** : ANYWAY

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : what is the reason for living?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : why am I living?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : breathing?

 

 **dopeassfreshprince** : I am incomplete

 

 **spideyboy** : Stage 4: depression

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : GREETINGS EARTHLINGS AND BROTHER

 

 **letskeepthisloki** : NOW IS NOT THE TIME THERE IS A RAT IN THE TOWER

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : a rat?

**capsicle** : he means a racoon

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : what is a racoon?

 

 **wintersmoulder** : IT IS A MONSTER THAT JUST STOLE MY ARM!!!  


**rawrimadinothor** : stole your….

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : OH!

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : you mean rabbit!

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : friends, I would like to introduce you to my friend, rabbit!

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : his ship crashed and he needed spare parts

 

 **birdbrain** : his he being serious?

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : has he been drinking again?

 

 **urallnatmyproblem** : tony I thought you got rid of most of the heavy alcohol?

 

 **imstarknaked** : I did…

 

 **imstarknaked** : thor, bud, you ok?

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : indeed, I am. Should I not be so?

 

 **wintersmoulder** : I WANT MY ARM BACK

 

 **rawrimadinothor** : I will ask Rabbit to return all the stuff he stole

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : HOLY BUTCHEEKS ON A STICK

 

 **imnotstrangeurstrange** : THE RACOON JUST TALKED  


**rawrimadinothor** : *rabbit


	22. Just an update

Hi guys! 

So recently the lovely Scarestone asked me if they could translate this fic into German on FF.de, so I said, of course!

<https://www.fanfiktion.de/s/5c05597e000446bb27bea9a2/1/Avengers-Squad>

It was really touching that someone would like to do that, and if others would like to translate any of my fics into different languages, feel free to ask!

That's all for now, but I am trying to get an update out soon. 

Sorry if you thought this was an update! 

Thank you all so, so much!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Updates will be... as regular as possible, and comments are welcome!  
> BTW everyone has their powers, Tony is still a billionaire, Cap and Bucky are still, like, 100, Natasha is still an assassin, Hulk still turns into a giant green rage monster, but they are all younger.
> 
> Everyone is in high-school except Bucky, Tony and Steve
> 
>  
> 
> (PS T'Challa, Shuri, and Vision will come in later in the story)
> 
> German translation at: https://www.fanfiktion.de/s/5c05597e000446bb27bea9a2/1/Avengers-Squad


End file.
